I was diagnosed early last year; had a mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy. A mammogram earlier this year showed clear. I was due to have reconstructive surgery round about now so my surgeon sent me for a CT scan. This has showed up something on my liver. I went for an ultrasound (my oncologist said it looked like an haemangioma (tangle of blood vessels) so we should get it scanned so we had it on record. But at the ultrasound the radiographer said he wasn't happy to call it an haemangioma cos it didn't look quite like they usually do and he is sending me for an MRI scan in two days time. So now I realise they actually think it's secondaries and want to confirm that. I am so frightened. I am 53. I have 2 children in college and my youngest is still in school, only 14. I was meant to be there for them as they went through life. I couldn't sleep all last night and haven't eaten since yesterday lunch time. How will I go like this? How will my husband cope? How do I stop all this from ruining my children's lives? The survival rates for Stage 4 don't look good - I was supposed to grow old with husband: I won't even get a retirement. Can anybody suggest how I can get a grip of my emotions and cope with all the things I need to do?
