Hi Breeze62.
So sorry to read your post and the reasons you have joined.
I can understand your anger and frustration as I am sure so many others here can.  Doesn't make it any easier for you or answer your questions as to the future.
We had 3 months from diagnosis to my husband passing from being a big strong man to being dependant on me for everything.  But we enjoyed every moment we had, his pain was managed and how we talked, laughed and enjoyed looking at nature.  All the things normally overlooked we savoured together.
Yes I was, am still angry at the future that was ripped away from us, our plans for retirement etc... But to me it's a wasted emotion, can't change anything.
I sincerely hope being on this site helps you.  There are so many wonderful people who will offer support and understanding.  You are not alone in the road you are travelling.  Small compensation to you but others do understand how you are feeling.
Sending hugs
Kathy.
 

Thanks Kathy.

I am so sorry for your loss.  We too are making the best of this bad situation.  (trying at least)  We lay in the yard and watch the clouds, sit on the porch watching the hummingbirds, enjoying nature was something we always did.  I remember when we were dating he asked me if I wanted to go camping, I knew I was going to marry this man!!  We fished and cooked on an open fire, it was great!!  I guess I had to vent and I truely agree anger is a wasted emotion.  I can't seem to shake it sometimes.  I look at a man who worked so very hard and seemed to always have energy to spare to now laying on the couch cause he is spent.  Breaks my heart.  Then there are days that he actually builds or repairs something.  I get home from work and he says "I didn't even nap today!"  Love him to pieces

Hi again,
It is good you are enjoying time together.
Venting is ok and is healthy/good for you.  This is a great place to do it - very supportive mob.
I can hear the smile in your post as you talk about your man.  It is truly lovely to "hear".
You are so proud of him and that is great.  You are so fortunate to have found someone to have loved and been loved for so long.  At the end of the day we have to be thankful for what we have had.  Some people never have that.

Did you catch your own fish?  What did you cook on the open fire?    Hope it wasn't the soles of your feet if you fell asleep too close to it.
Kathy x
 

Yes Kathy I am very fortunate to have found someone that I can honestly say is my "soulmate"  kind of scary sometimes!! hahaa  Our relationship had it's ups and downs, as many do, but we found a happy medium and stayed there.  I mean why spend a marriage arguing over silly things.

I have melted a sole or two, but not this time!!  haha We did catch our own fish, catfish and bream, and that is what we cooked on the open fire.  The area we would pitch our tent also had free roaming cattle.  One night I woke to this snorting sound against the tent.  Oh how we laughed when we realized we were surrounded by cows!!!  MAKE NO SUDDEN NOISES!!!  hahaa

I had forgotten this little memory, will have to remind Terry this afternoon :)

Thank you Kathy for making me smile :))))

Breeze62,
Bit of a clue in your last message,  
Are you in Oz?  The fish you mentioned are pretty common over here.  I am in SA.
We too enjoyed fishing, in our younger days, but I used to catch the bigger and better ones (girl power).  Him with the expensive fishing rod me with the cheap one, haha.
Glad I have made you smile for a wee bit anyway.
Nice memories are good.  I don't think any relationship is perfect.  It's what you make it.  Ups and downs.  Go with the flow and dispute on the big issues, the small ones pfft....
Kathy x
 

Hi Breeze62

So pleased to see that the lovely Kathy has made contact and hope you find belonging to the forum helps.

I joined just three years ago  when my husband of over 35 years (back then) was diagnosed with incurable cancer and treatment become impossible due to the side effects causing more problems at the time.  This forum is full of wonderful people who may not be able to physically help solve how we feel (they give it a b.......... good try) but having virtual support and somewhere to express our feelings as carers for those we love and cherish truly helped me to cope.  Sadly my hubby passed away (he was 62) and I am still relying on the forum from time to time as we do not always want to burden our family and friends who have their own emotions too.

I was never a 'camper' but just reading your replies to Kathy I felt I could almost taste that fish and am pretty sure that with hummingbirds for company you are not UK based unless you live in a zoo!  Come and chat whenever you feel the need. Regards Jules54 

I am in Louisiana.  We would go camping on the Levee in the Henderson area

Just googled, looks like a nice place  Breeze62

K xx

I would not trade it for the world!!  So much to do outdoors, and that is what we enjoy.  Parks for picnics, waterways to kayak, State parks to camp/fish/enjoy Nature.  I absolutely Love it here in Louisiana.