Rebecca feel good about yourself. You are doing your very best for your mum visiting and helping out each day. Talk to your mum of all the good and bad things you've been through together, tell her all the things you've wanted to say to her but havent so far, you only have one stab at this and talk plenty with your dad, he will be feeling pretty much as you are.

Mum is usually the strong hub which cements all the family together, so it is difficult when she only has enough energy for herself. You will need to help her out here, at some point you will live day to day life without her, in some strange way you grow up, and life carries on, the hurt doesnt go away but it changes, and she will always be with you.

Hi Rebecca, welcome to the forum. but sorry you're here because your Mom is ill with cancer. I think most of us never think ahead to the day when our parents will die before us. We just don't want to go there, but when the day comes that we will lose a parent, it hits us like a ton of bricks. I have lost both of my parents, my Dad at age 61 with cancer, and my Mom at age 90 from natural causes. My Dad dying that young was devastating for me. My Mom had Altzheimer's disease for the last 3 years of her life and that was so hard too because she was here in body, but not a lot of the time in mind. Our parents die before us and that is the natural order of things, but of course its' hard. I also lost my son and that took my grief to a whole other level. For sure, parents are certainly not supposed to bury their children. I know you are going through a very difficult time and my heart goes out to you. You are trying to be there for her now and helping where and when you can. Try to take some comfort in that and you will get through this as difficult as it is and know that you're not alone.

Take care of yourself and sending you hugs.

Lorraine