Hey Sarah...

My dad was diagnosed with Lung cancer in March. He was operated on  a few weeks ago to remove a tumor and some lymph nodes as it had spread. Yesterday we were informed that it's stage 3b cancer, which came as a shock.

I totally understand where you are coming from. We always think things shold be pushed through faster when it's a loved one. I was always asking, or wondering, why he hadn't been sen or updated on what was going on.

My dad is an uber healthy guy for his age (#lad) hasn't smoked for 35 years but he started with a cough. Being the older generation he said it was nothing. The doctor said it was probably a side affect of his high blood pressure pills. Luckily mum can tell my dad what to do and he was dignosed with cancer within a day of being scanned, the same day my nanna went into remision.

It's the worst feeling in the world just waiting around and not knowing the outcome. We now have to rely on the chemotherapy.

It's a worrying time but this is what creates us as a person. Be strong for your Dad and put a smile on that face for him, even if it's the hardest thing to do, as I'm sure he will be doing the same.

It seems a long time between appointments but it will just happen so fast when it begins.

I'm but a youngster at the ripe age of 30. I to couldnt imagine life without my dad. It doesnt even bare to think about..SO DON'T :) think positive.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass..It's about learning to dance in the rain.

I think that's a cool quote and very relative.

This place is great for a chat and to get stuff off your chest..

I hope this helps you a little and feel free to message.

HOpe your dad is doing good.

xxxxxx

Hi Sarahlouise

How awful for you so sorry your Dad is going throught this.  The waiting is always the worst thing.

After I was diagnosed stage 4B (womb cancer) my thoughts were I dont want to die so I have had all the treatment chemo and radiotherapy and am waiting for my next scan in three months. 

I know its difficult but try and stay posative and dont give up hope my Dad was sent home to die he did about 20 years later at 84 from aspirated pneumonia nothing to do with his cancer.

Hey Will,

Thank you for your reply, it makes it slightly easier knowing that people are going through similiar situations and getting by (however much I wish that you weren't in this situation).

Im really sorry that your dad is going through this (I'm sorry about your nanna too), I imagine you and your families life is up in termoil, as is mine. I think when it comes to cancer you have to be greatful for even the very small things, in your case although stage 3b is a terrible place to be its not stage 4 and there is hope. I'm terrified my dads cancer is completely inoperable.

How old is your dad if you dont mind me asking? My dad has just turned 55 and I still consider that to be very young! Like yours, my dad was super fit, healthy and strong. This truly has just came out of nowhere and consumed him.

I do try to smile although its days like today that make it seem impossible. My dad had a really bad night last night after eating, and today i feel like hes gave up on himself. Hes not even attempting to eat and has spent most of the day in bed in pain... i feel helpless. Im not familiar with the effects of lung cancer but I do hope that the pain is managable for your dad. 
Thank you for the quote! I have previously came across it but had no idea how quickly relavent it would become in my life, so thanks again for reminding me about it, perhaps I can share the wisdom to my dad.

I hope you and your family are going the best they can

I'll be thinking and hoping for your dad as well as mine  xxx   

Hi, it must be awful for you to be dealing with this. One thing that gets me is I can't imagine what the fear of death must be like when you feel there is a chance you could be so close to it, and it hurts to think my dad is going through it.

 At least you were able to have chemo and radiotherapy and I really hope your scan is clear when it comes back.

What kind of cancer did your dad have? I have heard stories like your dads and it gives me hope and i hope it gives you hope in your case too.  

Hi regarding the f​ear of death in my case it was not the fear of dying itself but all the things I wanted to do and people I would miss. It may sound strange but it is really difficult to explain. My Dad was told he had a tumour around his intestines they took out his gallbladder the neck of his pancreas some of his small intestine and left tubes in to keep his intestines open. The surgeon told us that he had not been able to remove all the tumour and that nothing else could be done. Dad came home and slowly recovered even went on holiday. He was never completely well and had to spend some days in bed. He was with us a lot longer than expected. Hope your Dad is to.

I totally understand what you are saying, when I said the fear of death I kind of guess thats what I meant. My dad has always wanted grandchildren and there are so many things that we planned to do together as a family. My daughters only 1 and 3 month and its his first and only. It seems unfair and devastating if he was to die without doing any of the things we said.
Its not like if he gets a death sentence we can make the most of the time left because hes too ill to leave the house most days. 
Both me and my dad hate the thought of him not seeing her grow up. But alls we can do is hope.   

Hey Sarah,

MY dad is 64, i think. I should really know lol. Still young though and very active for his age. Still enjoyed the gym with me and working outside everyday. He can lift heavier stuff than me but i don't admit this to him.

This came out of knowwhere for us as well as he hasn't smoked for 35 years and this is the biggest cause for Lung Cancer.

Keep that head high :) some days will be bad and some good but just enjoy life, and you never know, it may be fine (which i hope it is).

And look foward to the terrible two's with your daughter...My son is rocking those right now...keeps me busy and he loves spending time with his Grandad..hopefully he will griow up with one...

I love that quote...

Sending all my thoughts to your dad. I would say prays but that's not my thing, so positive thoughts from me to you :)

xx

64 is still a very good age, both our dads should be strong enough to get through this really. It's a shame about the smoking my dads stopped for 20 years+.

 As soon as I opened my eyes today I just felt like it hit me like a tonne of bricks, it's just so cruel and it's getting harder to think positive. I'm taking him for his scan in a few hours and it's so frustrating that they can't shed some light there and then(they must know what they're looking at straight away)

I admire your strength in this situation I wish I was feeling half as strong ... Maybe I will in time when I'm not in limbo but who knows.

Oh and about my daughter, Salora, I already feel like she's in her terrible twos! She's so mischievous when I tell her no she laughs at me!

I have a niece who is still going through her terrible twos at 4 so I wouldn't hold your breath haha. Prayers aren't really my thing too so I'll be sending all the thoughts back :) 

I do hope everything works out ok for you, but I know your going to deal with everything the best way you can no matter what the outcome, your dads very lucky to have a son like you and I hope this will make it easier for him.

Just out of curiosity where about a in the UK are you from? I'm from the North East (Middlesbrough) and all a I hear is people getting cancer, it's such a shame.

Sarah xxx

I'm being positive because that's the only way to be :)

I do have days where i just think, what the ***, why my dad or why anyone.

I broke down a little on the way back from the gym last night in my car. I've always kept my feelings to myself because i don't want to get other people down. Maybe not the best way to cope with things but my thoughts are if im positive to other people then maybe it will make it easier for them.

These guys dealing with your dad are uber good. I got fustrated with not being informed straight away. But it takes time. They dont want to give the wrong diagnosis, or another way of putting it, is giving the best one so they can treat it the best way.

We have a great healthcare system so don't get upset if it takes longer than you would expect :)

My son Sam is a nutter, just wants to wrestle all the time. That's my fault though as the best way to stop him crying is asking for a wrestle on the floor lol.

I'm pretty sure you dad wouldn't change you for the world so stick with him..Smash that smile out daily even if it's the hardest thing to do. Chat to him about it, it may do him the world of good to chat with it. Cry together and laugh together.

Laughter is the best medicine even if it makes you feel 100% for a few seconds...those few seconds can change a bad day into a good day :)

Im from the North West. I live in the lake district. Used to live in portsmouth when i was in the Army but moved back north as its the best place :)

Will

 xxxxxxxxxxxx

'Laughter is the best medicine even if it makes you feel 100% for a few seconds...those few seconds can change a bad day into a good day' These Will are very wise words!

About you being positive for other people, it is a good thing but sometimes you do need to break down, like you did and there's no way you should deny yourself that. If you do ever feel sick of being positive and you just want to rant about how cruel everything is, I am here if you need me :)

You actually made me laugh when you said about wrestling with you son, brilliant logic Will! Haha don't cry fight instead. I can imagine you's are both super hyper active.

Slightly envious of you living in the Lake District too haha. Take care, hope today's a good day for you all.

Sarah xxxxx