Hi Ginanne

Welcome to this place that no one really wants to be. 

I'm sorry to hear about the tough time that you are having. I understand totally about the loneliness that you are feeling. Like you I have amazing family and friends support but just sometimes they are not enough. Especially in the wee small hours of the night. I come on here  every day and have a browse through the stories posted.  I find that it really does help me. People on this forum are open, friendly, and honest. You even can pick up some good tips also. Don't give up on this site. We are all facing battles of one kind or another and people on here are only too eager to help you through this tough time. 

Stay in touch 

Moira xxxx

Ginanne,  

I'm so sorry to hear about your partners cancer. My dad has recently been diagnosed with stomach cancer (we don't know stages yet) and I can totally relate to what you are saying. During the day it's so much easier there's people around to talk to, but for me it's at night when you have to spend time with yourself in the quiet, and that's usually when the googling and reading of forums start. It does help me to read forums and I hope you can get some use too. No matter how many people are around sometimes I feel waves of reality and heartbreak. Cancer is such a dreadful dreadful thing, unfortunately I can't give you an answer but I can relate. Try and look after yourself, Sarah 

Hi ther, not a nice place to be meeting , but u can say anything on here & rant , rave & cry if u like , some1 always here to talk to. I myself have been diagnosed 6 wks ago with rectal cancer,I'm waiting to start radiotherapy, I can come on here & express myself more than I can at home, I have great family & friends but I don't like to see them upset over me , so I put a big brave face o. Sorry to hear about ur partner , if ur anything like my partner? He just feels hopeless sometimes & I have to reassure him thing will be ok . . Just being ther even if he's silent is enuff for me :)x

Thank you Moira. I've just re returned to the site since I began a few days ago . I'm sitting in hospital having been here since the 28th as M ( my partner) was admitted with infection,fluid on lungs - generally critical. I've been beside her and this morning she seems peaceful. All the doctors say we have entered a different stage which I'm struggling to accept as I see M looking better. I've been told to tell her sisters and Mum and get them here. They are all in Edinburgh at a 60th birthday party - we were supposed to be there. They decided that the party must go on and they'd wait and see how M was today. I'm doing my very best not to feel angry . My priority would have been to see my sister. We're all different! I want to scream at them to get their arses down here but it's there decision how they do things. 

Hi

I am so sorry that things seem to have taken a turn for the worse.  I understand your anger about the family but I think that some people really don't know how to be when someone has cancer. They maybe don't realise the severity yet especially if they don't live near and are not seeing M every day. I'm not making excuses for them but please be reassured that as long as you know that you are doing the right thing you will know some peace. To us we think that it's a no brainer....but hey it takes all sorts!!!  Do you have anyone that is there at the moment to support you? I hope that you do, but be assured that people on this site will be thinking about you and keeping you in their prayers. 

I don't know what else to say to you just now except don't give up hope and don't waste your time and energy on things that can't be changed. Funnily enough I am in Edinburgh and will be 60 this year. Imagine I might even know the party goers lol 

Take care and stay strong 

Moira xx