hubby has been diagnosed with Bowel cancer

Hi , I am new to this forum ,my name is JIll , I am feeling a bit bewildered . My Hubby pete has been diagnosed with Bowel cancer , it's all a bit of a shock really as he is fit and well , He was 60 in January and in Feb a Bowel screening test came through the post box , as said fit and well and no probs , he duly did the test and sent it off , another test came and he sent this off . The next step came and he went for a colonoscopy , 3 polyps removed and they ok , one big one that he had to go back to have removed last week , in the last few days we have gone from nothing to cancer and now from the scan to cancer in the liver and lung . Appointment to. See a consultant on Tuesday , I am terrified , hubby is quite , we haven't told our family anything yet , how do we tell our family it's going to disrupt their life , sorry feeling so bewildered and shocked . Me and pete have been together for 34 years  and we have worked hard to bring up 4 fab kids , this should be our time now , so also feeling angry , pete on the other hand is just taking it in his stride ,won't talk about it and doesn't want to tell anyone ., I think we are both scared but trying to be brave x

  • Hi Jill, how awful for you both to go from nothing to this so quickly. (I'm on this forum because my dad is now terminal from cancer that he's had for many, many years and although I'm the daughter and not the wife I understand the feelings you describe.) I've replied to your post not because I can offer you much help - but just because I know how I was feeling when I first joined this forum and even though no-one can actually 'do' anything it was nice that strangers took the time to respond to my cry for help! I guess all you can do is try and be calm and positive, you say your hubby is fit and well so he's starting this from a position of strength, if you like. As for telling your family, well, my mum and dad waited for a few months before they told us - they said they wanted to know the full story before saying anything to us - as it turned out the news wasn't as bad as they'd feared so they were glad they hadn't told us any earlier. From my more recent experiences it's the waiting that's the worst part. I totally understand the anger you are feeling - I think a lot of it is frustration that this terrible thing is threatening your lovely life and how bloody dare it... I wish you and Pete all the best and hope for a good outcome on Tuesday. K x

     

     

  • My heart goes out to you both on this all too frequented journey together. He is in shock and you in panic. That's how it was when my wife was diagnosed with low down bowel cancer. My work colleagues had patience and put up with my sudden tears and upsets. This is a new and personal journey - a part of normal life you could say. Things will get easier after the consultant has gone over things with you both. It's truly awful. My wife wanted it all kept secret and I wanted to tell the family. In the end we compromised - some had to know = you can't hide this. But equally it's cruel to worry others Un necessarily. Friends may react badly to a cancer diagnosis bt. So if you feel you need to confide then choose the person carefully. In all - the doctors are great and treatments good for this all too common disease. Let me add that we see the World in a new way now - it's bright and colourful and we enjoy all. Good luck - come here and we will support you. There are many here with bowel. You will also meet many in the cancer centre. Stay safe from stress. We will be thinking of you both Steven xxx To make an election statement - I wish they would spend money on curing cancer instead of bombs and guns
  • Thank you so much for your post xxx