Hi aemi

I feel a bit the same.  I had a hystorectamy at the end of August 2014 - not for cancer- but some cancer cells were found in the tissue around the womb and in a lymph node in my groin (which was enlarged) which they also removed.  I think the surgeon was as suprised as me with the results.  Scans came back ok but the recommendation was chemotherapy followed by radiotherapy.  I have had the chemo 6 lots finished early Feb 2015.  I  felt fine before my surgery, was recovering well, felt fine during the chemo on the days when the side effects had worn off.  I have been getting on with my life and like you have felt disconnected from the Diagnosis so much so that I really dont want to have the radiotherapy. 

I think that I am still in denial and that they have got the wrong results - I know this is highly unlikely but its hard to think of someone diagnosed with cancer as feeling fit and well.

Can I recommend that if you do have to have treatment you ask as many questions as possible about it even start noteing questions down now as they occur to you.  Also keep a diary of how you feel physically and mentally during the treatment because when you see the doctor you forget.  Mine was surprissed when She asked me how I had been after the first chemo session and I brought out a sheet of A4 paper with all my notes on.

Good Luck

Hi river56,

thanks for your post. Its good to know how others feel about their diagnosis and treatment. Sort of helps to know you're not alone in this. Though I would never wish it on anyone.

 Maybe the disassociation is a sort of self preservation tactic we have.

 Ill definately be buying myself a little book as a diary tomorrow.

I have a bit of a clue what treatment may be offered as my oncologist mentioned some possible treatment but I guess it all depends on test results. I'm still just me till then.

Wishing you well

Aemi

Amie

Being posative is the best thing here's hopeing you dont need treatment but if you do dont get down.

I used to do my Diary on the computer and I did everyday down to how many attempts it took to get the canular in on my treatment days and how I was feeling during treatment - to  "feeling good today - went for a walk".  This was really useful as I had a very rare reaction to one of the premeds - made me feel dizzy and lightheaded- so the Doctor put in my notes that this had to be adminisered more diluted and slowly.

Best Wishes

Hi river56, oh the cannular is my dread right now. I'm due for CT scan on Monday and not thinking about it too much to avoid the panic. Last time my arms were black and blue for a couple of weeks. The actual scan is doddle. Had an octreotide scan the other week and was dreading this but the radioactive injection was easy (the bit I worried over) the keeping still seemed like a mission but was actually not a problem.       Is it always hard to get a cannular in?        I feel like a moaning minnie reading this back as I know       You've          Been         

Through worse. going back to " head in the sand" mode till after the CT. It's great to share with you thanks

Aemi x

Hi Amie

As to the cannula I have always had problems because my veins are very deep and wiggley in fact the anethastist could not get any veins in my left arm before my op.

I can suggest -  drink plenty of water for several days before treatment about 2 litres on top of your normal drinks actually try to cut out coffee the day and day before any treatment no alcohol.  Keep your hands and arms warm I used to wear gloves.  Tell them in advance that you have problems.  Also any information you can give them e.g my left hand and arm is always more difficult to find the veins in.  Try to relax - very difficult I know when someone is about to stick a needle in you.

As to any Chemo. The nurses are very good and they are only allowed to try twice then they have to get someone else.  Worst case took eight attempts best case took two but thats just me most people only needed one attempt.

I have decided (for now) to go ahead with the radiotherapy, so just waiting for an appointment.

Good luck and if you need to chat and if I can be of any help please dont think you are moaning its good to discuss with someone else especially as we both appear to be a bit similar - Head in sand.

River

Hi again River, 

Thanks for your suggestions, I'll give that a try and see if it works. Last time after many tries they had to get someone else who seemed to manage the cannula sraight away. I'll tell them straight away. I was a bit reluctant to say anything in case this made them feel nervous and made things worse. My son and his family are visiting this weekend so that should keep me busy and in "sand " mode lol.

Wishing you well 

Aemi x

Hi river, 

I just wanted to tell you I took your advice and drank lots of fluids before the CT Scan and told radiologist how hard it was last time to get the cannula in but she got it in first go. Sooo relieved. The most hardship has been me peeing for England and needing to jump off the scanner bed and head for the loo. Lol. 

Now its just the results.

Hope you are well

Aemi x

Hi Aemi

Glad the scan went OK know what you mean about peeing for england I am still trying to drink as much water (near the 2 litre mark) as I can every day.  Some days I manage it but but most days not.  I am buying bottled water as our tap water tastes awful its full of chemicals.  Got one of those Filter things now so will be trying that out. 

I am just waiting for my appointment to see the radiology team before I start my radiotherapy treatment.  I have decided to go ahead with it and although I am really scared I manage to put it to the back of my mind most of the time.

I have arranged to meet up with most of my friends before the end of the month so will be having a few meals out and enjoyiong myself.

Hope your results are good keep your chin up.

River x

Hi river,

Had the results of my tests and all is well. No growths or problems. I have to collect 24hr urine and have a blood test in five months time for results in six months.

Still having the hot flushes and rapid heart beat but nobody seems bothered, so im letting myself enjoy the repreve.

Hope you are well.

Aemi x