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Ritafrost5
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Hi,my name is Rita and I lost my husband and soul mate on Christmas eve,I am struggling to come to terms with living without him,I tried to return to work but lasted a week,I feel sorry for him losing out on his life and for myself I wonder how I can possibly move forward as we done everything together ,every morning I wake up and wonder what is the point of all of this? I feel so sad all the time my family are very good but it's when I am on my own I just don't stop crying ,I know they say that time is a great healer but I seem to be getting worse not better ,I don't see the point of doing anything anymore.sorry to go on but I don't know what to do to feel better.                                                     

Regards

Rita x

 

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    Welcome to this supportive site Rita. I thought I would just be the first to say hello. It must be so hard to have to learn to live without the person we've shared so much of our lives with. You have come to the right place though. There are many people here who have also lost their loved one recently. I would suggest for example that you speak to jules54 - she is a lovely lady who very recently lost her husband after looking after him while he was very ill with cancer. Feel free to post on her thread here which she started just after her husband passed away. Or it may be that Jules or another of our many members who have also lost a partner to cancer will see your thread and respond directly. In any case, I am sure it will help you feel less alone to speak to others here who can very much understand your pain.

    Best wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi Rita,

    Welcome to this forum of wonderful caring people.  I am sorry to see the reason you have joined.  I lost my husband Oct 2014 so can fully sympathise with what you are going through.  I understand the feelings of despair, feeling lost and intense sadness.

    What you are feeling it quite normal and it may help you to put it down on paper as it were on this forum, let it out, rant, rave at the unfairness of it all.

    I think this is a period we just have to work through to come out in one piece at the end of it.

    What would hubby want you do?  Would he not want you to make the most of what you do have in life?

    I do agree when it's on your own it gets hard.  I think we can pretend to be strong when around others but there is no reason to put on a brave face when no one around.  I am sending you a big hug.  I don't know if it gets easier or do we just adapt to coping better.  Rita honey you are not alone.  Best wishes kathy

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    GMorning Rita = I am so sorry to hear you have lost your husband of many years. At least he is at peace and suffering no more. It must leave you with an impossibly empty hole in your heart and all I can say is that I wish you every peace and hope for your future. I really don't understand why life is like this = but it is!! The older I get - the more questions and fewer answers I have. As Rachmaninov told his daughter once - "the older I get = the more I lose the confidance of youth = and the less I am sure of"

    We will keep you and your family in our hearts today and send you a big hug

    Steven

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    Hello Rita

    Sad to read why you have found your way to the forum but there is plenty of support to  be had from the lovely people here. As  moderator Lucie (hi Lucie) mentioned I too have recently lost my husband (early January following a three year journey with cancer).  We were together 42 plus years (37 married) and, of course, this leaves a big void in our lives which feels impossible to fill just now.  Personally I draw much comfort from the fact that my hubby no longer faces the daily struggle that the last weeks  brought him but its still a very big adjustment to make and cannot happen straight away. Am taking it day to day.  I did manage to return to work after a month's compassionate leave (GP insisted) but only work part time and have had great support from my Manager and workmates (who understand if I need 'time out' to gather myself together from time to time.  Am seeing the GP on a monthly basis as she likes to  keep an eye of her 'new widows' (still find that a hard word to fathom) and know I can seek counselling if required but for now have close family/friends nearby and am trying to get on with things as best I can (two grandchildren are great therapy).  Please do come and post whenever you like as there are many 'readers' on the forum who really will understand the up and down emotions that grieving brings.  Sending peaceful thoughts and a virtual hug.  Jules54

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