My mum has just been diagnosed with primary gallbladder and secondary liver cancer. She has been poorly on and off for the last year, fainting, sickly, fuzzy head, some memory loss, stomach pain. Initially diagnosed with helicopacter pylori in March 2014, treated with antibiotics and seemed ok. Then continued with the above mentioned symptoms throughout the year, eventually after numerous blood tests, 4 chest X-rays and an endoscopy after a visit to A and E, she was diagnosed with a hiatus hernia. She had lost weight when we attended for the follow up and had what she thought was constant stomach pain. She had been off her food for fear of aggravating the her is. When she told the consultant he immediately felt her abdomen he requested an urgent ct scan for 12/12/14. She was then given her results!! After being told all year nothing detected and given the all twice by A and E for anything sinister I was shocked but expected bad news due to her demeanour.
Biopsy taken this week on 05/01/15 and results due 19/01/2015, which tbh I do not want to take her for! Her GP has told me its is aggressive and advanced, how does this happen after all the blood tests showing nothing. She has gone from 9st7lb to 7st12lb in 3months, is now living with me as I cannot bare to leave her in her flat. I am giving her meds as instructed, just got nurses in and Macmillan are due. They keep advising it is palliative care based on the noted received yet the information given at the hospital was limited. Am not happy at all that nothing showed ip sooner, I am struggling as I really do not want my children to see Nana die, they are adults mind, 22and 24, but I remember my Dad and it was awful to see the deterioration. I do not know how long? But I pray to my God it's not too long as muther bear is amazing and does not deserve to suffer . She knows what is going is fully lucid at the moment, yet is hoping to be better for the summer, awwww I am heartbroken and feel I am grieving before she's even gone. My perfect mum, my friend, my one true love,my advisor, my teacher, my everything, my world and universe how will I cope with this silent disgusting disease.
Amazing how many of us turn to doing stuff around the house when we are in turmoil. Its really a case of keeping mind and body occupied isn't it? Just wanted to say that its great that you will have the support of your brother arriving and am sure it will give Mum a lift too along with the hairdo. You really are doing all you possibly can. Not sure what type of work you do or how long you are on leave (maybe you could go back for a bit on reduced hours whilst your brother is over to give you a break). I see that you have not had Mum round but do not be afraid to drop a comment into conversation - saying something like I am around if you fancy a cuppa and a natter gives her control of what she would like to do. I often second guessed what I thought my hubby needed and it took my daughter to point out that he was the only one who really knew that and I needed to take a step back and wait for him to make decisions. It was b......... hard as we go into protective mode of our loved ones but she was right. Take it day by day and remember to look after yourself too (we are no good to anyone if worn out) x. Has Mum accepted any outside assistance to make her comfortable in her own home (this would in turn give you some reassurance I am sure) - I always felt more relaxed when community care visited and guided me along the way. Sending huge hugs Jules x
Hi Kerrie, doing ok I reckon. Throwing myself into chores. Fortunate in my friends and pets provide lots of affection. 4 months tdy since my love left me, but he is no longer suffering, no longer has the loss of independence and dignity, he is with me always though in my heart and in my memories.
I am so lucky to have known him. Take care, Kathy xx
Hello Kathy been off line for a few days My darling Tony passed away 2 years ago on the 5th Feb brings it all back both my sons came round around 12 pm and stayed till 2 Tony passed away at 1so they new how I would be feeling and them too bless them How are you coping now ..Its been a lovely day sunny and not so cold Rusty and I have had three lovely walks we went to the beach this afternoon and he had a good run around with a whippet just like him but smaller ha ha I bet you dont miss our climate Kathy and cant say I blame you .keep smiling Kathy and big hug sent ...Sueanne x
God Bless you all in your loss. Yes it was a nice afternoon = we went for a walk. Hmm.. we have loads of chores to do = I doubt they will get done - but we try.
Oh, my mum is much better - she is about fifty percent better = the old girl surprised us all! My panic started the other week when the nursing home asked for the priest for her. Now she is in the sitting room with the other ladies. My wife thought that mum was low on vitamins = maybe she was. Anyway = thank god that she is okay xx
Planted my spring flowers today = always a good day !!
Hi Sueanne, I did reply to you earlier but unfortunately did not post. Grrrr
keeping busy here. Good your family was with you on Tony's anniversary. I am sure he would be proud of you and your kids.
Have grandson tom night for sleepover so will have a ball. He has the gardening bug but as he is 4 will need to ensure he gets to bed in good time which means I will have to also. Wow an early night... We will share the magic bed / which is a sofa bed and pets will join us
Hi everyone, mum had a lovely weekend with my brother staying, her trip to the hairdresser went ahead as planned and she looked more like her old self. I am a tad concerned tonight as she has an ulcer on her gum for the last 3 weeks tried various over the counter treatment but to no avail. She cannot eat with the darn thing, has no taste and poor appetite . I am worried it could be a further spread of the cancer so am hoping she lets me call the gp to visit tomorrow . Possibly over reacting but feel I have to get it looked at. She's been in bed most of today and put me off visiting, she knows I will get the doc out. Anyone else had this issue when no chemo involved? Thanks kerrie xxxx
Just opened up my mail as we have been at a service for hubby this afternoon.
Pleased your Mum enjoyed her weekend and got her hair done - that always gives me a lift too. Sorry to hear she has a mouth ulcer. Can be so painful (had one myself a few weeks ago and created havoc with eating so stuck to soups and mashed potato, yogurts and icecream - anything soft to be honest (scrambled egg worked okay too). If over the counter remedies not helping (I used a brand name) a friend of mine always recommends just rinsing three times daily with salt water. Hopefully Mum will contact her GP herself or let you do so on her behalf. Hubby had no issues with these though his back sore never fully healed.
Take care of yourself and hope Mum is more comfortable at your next visit (stubborness comes with age!!) Sending hugs Jules x
Hi Jules, hope you had spiritual afternoon, how lovely to have a service for hubby, what is his name by the way?, hope you don't mind me asking? As mum has had more liver pain the last two days I am definitely getting gp to call tomorrow and maybe increase the MST as wells, see how she goes. How is your mum by the way? Do ou have her care sorted? You are an amazing wife, mother and daughter I take strength reading your journey you know, simply full of admiration for you. Sending a hug and thanks for being there.xxxxx kerrie xxxx
Thank you for your lovely words but I certainly do not see myself as amazing. As you are finding yourself, you really just do what you are capable of when situations present themselves. As a wife, I had a long marriage (and we often said we were married so long because, due to his job as a troubleshooting precision engineer, hubby (prefer not to use real name, sorry) was away working sometimes for weeks at a time). We had separate interests but still did things together too (chalk and cheese as far as personalities were concerned). I also love being a mother/grandmother and cherish the time we have together but also enjoy my own company (which probably stems from being an only child!). Due to my mother's own mental illness over the years were have never been close but I have a duty of care to make sure she has the best we can get for her. She currently has new social worker and is being re-assessed as to her needs and whether the local council will be prepared to cover the costs where she is now (residential home). This can take some months to go through the 'red tape trail' (began last September this time round) and is very stressful for her and so try my best to re-assure (its probably the hardest part of my life just now). So a pretty standard life and nothing exceptional about me at all.
You are also doing a great job in looking out for your Mum (I know how frustrating it can be when we worry about our loved ones and they have their own ideas on what they want!) and hope she will understand your concern and that the doctors/nurses can help with getting her more comfortable. Hope you have been able to spend some quality time with your brother too and remember to give yourself a treat now and then - its helps to keep you sane!
I think I am rambling again so forgive me (one of the problems of being on your own I guess). I Do not work Tues or Fri so am off to do some food shopping in a bit and then get ready for family invasion tomorrow. Its my daughter's birthday (son's is the following week) tomorrow so we are all having dinner together and then the following day I am taking her (well she will drive me!!) out for a day of retail therapy/lunch whilst my son in law looks after the boys. Another hurdle to pass through without hubby but am sure he will be keeping an eye on us.
Hope you and your family have a peaceful weekend. Hugs are returned and the forum continues its wonderful support for us all. Jules x
Hi Jules, I really hope your mum gets settled very soon as am sure this will be a hurdle you want out of the way, it's awful how our precious parents who have contributed to our country cannot have what they deserve when it's needed, I wish you all the best. Mum had a bad week this week, more pain and other issues, my son and daughter were on their way up before and when they called she was quite bad and asked they leave the visit until tomorrow, I have asked her to come to mine but she wants to stay in he own bed, suffer in silence I suppose, doesn't help me though I feel sick with worry, God love her. Feeling quite emotional, lovely to hear from you as always, kerrie xxxxx ps....happy Valentine's Day x
