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Palliative care at home

KathyS
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I am new here, nursed my darling husband  of 30 yrs at home palliative care for past 12 weeks till he passed 07/10.  Diagnosed start July with sciatica ended up being bone cancer of back L2 and sacrum, primary lung , adrenal gland with brain mets. Privileged to look after him though it was tough, was administering sub cuts for last 2 weeks.  Have some handy hints to assist with how to turn as he was 6 foot 3 and I am less than 5foot tall.  Nothing would stop us from providing best care possible , thankfully supported by nurses once a day a great palliative care team

  • Offline in reply to jules54
    Hi Jules, yes travelled yesterday so here with the family till Sat when I will return home. Being very well looked after and started teaching the 4 year old chess this am. Their minds are like sponges to he is taking it in well ( until the 2 year old starts mucking up the pieces). Had both of them join me on the sofa for cuddles this morning. Hope you both have a great time at your sons for Christmas, hope you get a chance to put your feet up, you deserve it honey. Much love Kathy xx
  • Offline in reply to KathyS

    I just wanted to say hello to you Kathy. My sis is also Kathy !! Well, after a busy year - lets hope things improve for you all . Fancy teaching a little boy chess = he will be the next chess master - I bet! As you say - we all cope differently - but you and yr family will be in our minds and hearts.

    Its my wife who had the cancer - so I do understand the need to be 'strong' ! 

    xx steven

  • Offline in reply to KathyS
    Dear Kathy, just dropping by to wish you and your family a wonderful, peaceful Christmas. Take care and we'll catch up after the festivities. Much love to you, Jo xxx
  • Offline in reply to brighteyes
    Good morning Steven, I read your posts with great interest and love the support you offer others. Yes being strong can be a bit of a trial, but I know my nearest and dearest can see through the facade. I don't want the inlaws or son and co to worry about me so put on a bright face but on the whole I think I am doing ok. I have a lot in life to be thankful for. I can be totally honest with daughter in law, my goodness we are so lucky to have her in our lives, so mature for 23. I am grateful I found this wonderful forum of caring people and wished I had found it earlier but such is life. As a result I am passing the link onto other friends who have loved ones with cancer and encouraging them to visit also. 7 am here so no doubt the munchkins will soon be up and I will need to put this I pad away for safekeeping. I will have them out in the garden working later enjoying the fresh air and looking at a suitable area for planting giant pumpkins, a new venture which son will do here and I will do at home, bit of a contest planned I reckon. Love, peace and best wishes to you and yours, Kathy xx
  • Offline in reply to Meerkat@65
    Hi Jo, yes will be able to give you an update on gardening news and the new things I have discovered re home maintenance, am quite excited at discovering "plumbers tape" to put around rain water tank connectors, what a good idea. Maybe I should look for work in a hardware store....oops munchkin no 1 up, must go. Love and big hugs to you and yours Kathy xx
  • Offline in reply to KathyS

    Hi Kathy

    Lovely to have the receptive minds of the little uns.   My son learnt chess in junior school but sad to say I never picked it up!  Our six year old loves board games and jigsaws and has asked to join his Science Club after school next term so am wondering what 'experiments' he will bring home ha ha.

    Glad to read that you enjoyed your time with the family and we too returned home on Saturday after a lovely relaxing Christmas at our sons.  So much planning/build up/concerns but all passed smoothly and coped well.  In a couple of hours we have our daughter and family coming for lunch and then I am back to work tomorrow.

    Wishing you a peaceful 2015 and look forward to staying in touch.  Sending virtual hugs. Jules x

  • Offline in reply to jules54
    Hi Jules, You would not believe how lovely it is to "see" you back. Had a ball with family, was able to avoid crying in front of anyone, when my nose starts twitching like Samantha from bewitched that's when you know I am fighting the tears. Only blubbed twice in private. Now I am home can "leak" as much as I want, I will not bring anyone else down with me except pets who are so receptive as to how you are really feeling. I know you will enjoy catching up with your daughter. How fortunate we are in our children. You and hubby have done well and should be proud of yourselves . Gee are you cooking lunch,? Lots of love as always Kathy xx
  • Offline in reply to KathyS

    Hi Kathy

    I have to agree that I missed my forum friends chat; it has been a large part of my life for quite a while now but I left the laptop at home and do not have 'smart' technology to carry around with me!!!

    Those private tears are an important part of our emotional release and like you I kept it all together whilst away and so far so good. Son was fantastic in helping hubby up/down stairs(steeper than ours!) and at long last he is using his stick for balance and is becoming more receptive to accepting assistance. He is still determined to do what and when he can so just being as supportive and adjusting to his needs as and when.

     Hubby catching a nap pre visit and not much cooking involved as regards lunch (they should be here around  11 as are visiting new family member on son in law's side who arrived into the world on Christmas Eve), as I am doing buffet which I mostly prepared yesterday evening.  Just a few bits to warm through in the oven(crusty garlic bread and rolls) and we are good to go! Little ones love 'mini party food' and have even sourced some mini pirate cup cakes.

    Bet the pets are enjoying lots of cuddles and our son's Westie was a bundle of fun too.  Take care of yourself. Hugs returned as always.  Jules x 

  • Offline in reply to jules54
    Hi Jules, how was your shift at work? You made me laugh re not having smart technology to carry around with you as neither do I. My mobile is an old Nokia, no camera, no internet. It does what a mobile used to do make calls and text.. A lot of govt depts presume you have a smart phone and tell you to upload , download and stand on your head....I am so glad hubby allowing some assistance and using the stick for balance etc. well done on managing the dressings when away. Mother in law still in hospital, has now developed cellulitis in both legs which are weeping fluid..she appears to be responding to antibiotics which is good but the broken hip she went in for is now doing well but the infection will keep her in hosp for another 2 weeks poor dear. She will need an assessment done before being allowed home to get any extra equipment in for her needs, walker etc. I have advised father in law to request help with cleaning and gardening as they just can't manage any longer so they can ask for these things in their care package. Jan 2nd and 3rd forecast for 42 and 45 respectively so don't think any gardening will be done during the heat of the day only some watering in the evening. Pets will be inside with me with cooler on so could be a day spent sleeping on sofa with TV on. If I lie down I just fall asleep but that's ok. Ok Jules will sign off for now. Take care. Hugs Kathyx
  • Offline in reply to KathyS

    Hi Kathy

    Work was busy (especially with post Christmas refunds!) as new promotions to set up but rather be kept on  my toes as it makes the 5+ hrs pass more quickly.  Our daughter was in with the grandchildren as the eldest one wanted to buy some books with his Christmas money and then she gave me a lift home

    We are basking in minus 3 today but beautiful sunshine.  Weather due to change to mild conditions in a couple of days though.  No gardening for me, just making sure the bird feeders well stocked and then back indoors in front of the fire.  Have vision  of you creeping out in the dead of  night to do the watering as it does no good during such high temperatures (water quickly evaporating!) - do the pets run through the spray?

    Changing the dressings very easy now I know what order to do things in ha ha.  Nurse in tomorrow so will have update but area does not look too bad.  Think we will be asking for some equipment tomorrow too as it's now pretty obvious that the stairs are getting harder and with bathroom upstairs need portable facilities on ground floor. We were told it would just take 48hrs to arrange and they have been brilliant so far.

    Hopefully the care your mother in law is receiving will be a help and they can get everything ready and in place for when she is eventually discharged.  My Mum was so stubborn and refused to go home at all which is why she is in residential care home at present.  In the new year will face task of sorting this out as her funds will soon be gone and our local council prefer them 'in the community' which would mean that after 2yrs of being on 24hr care she would have to move to a flat with visiting carers.  Just waiting for them to do reassessment (requested 3mths ago!) so follow up letter(with copy to our MP) will not mince words!!

    Hope you have a relaxing day.  Take care,Jules x

     

     

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