Hi rainbowdash

Have just logged on as have been 'entertaining the grandchildren' at the park whilst my daughter had an appointment.  You are so right about it being a rollercoaster with the highs and unfortunately the lows too.  Whilst its hard seeing the decline in our loved ones  it certainly helps to have support of those around you and a good medical team too. Despite the fact that your Dad's chemo is on hold for now this has at least meant you have been able to organise the extra help which will really help the whole family.  If you  have help with the practical side you and your Mum can spend valuable time with him without being totally shattered.When the hospice team were involved with my own Dad's care (over 6 years ago) they were just amazing (much more restful than the hospital too when he required inpatient care).  Hope you and your Mum doing okay - its hard for everyone involved.

Thanks for asking after us; today is our wedding anniversary and the most romantic thing my husband could think of .............was to book his car in for an MOT!  He is still there at the moment so am expecting one very tired man when he gets back.  Tomorrow he has appointment with his GP who keeps a monthly eye on him inbetween hospital check-ups.  I am on 12days annual leave and as the weather has been ok, the garden is getting some attention.

Take care of yourself and sending virtual hugs to you all.  Jules x

Barbara

Sounds like you going through the wringer as a family right now.  Martin is in the best place to be kept comfortable and know you will spend all your spare time keeping him company.  You are coping just fine by being there and he will get the comfort of knowing you can visit (suspect he will be sleeping a lot of the time - when Mum and I visited Dad we used to take a book or do the crossword  as we found it easier to be occupied).  Hope with the treatment he is receiving  you will see some improvement day by day.  Here to listen when you need to chat and try to look after yourself too.Sending virtual hugs Jules x

Hi ladies, more bad news here.  The hospice have sent a care package form round for my mum to sign and on one of the pages the prognosis is described as "weeks - 2 months".  Although deep down I knew it, its still come as a massive blow to see it written down by a professional.  I am in shock so I have no idea how my mum feels.  My dad seems to be losing all ability in all his limbs.  As much as I want to hold onto him forever and am not ready to let him go, equally, I don't want him to suffer.  I feel like I've go no one to talk to - have no sisters and am not close to my brother. I usually off load everything to my mum but this subject is of course, out of bounds. Gutted is an understatement.  Am trying not to cry in front of the kids.  If anyone has any advice, I would gladly appreciate it right now.

Such hard news for you to have to read in black and white which somehow makes everything very real.  When it was my dad we had '3 mth' scenario and though it was over six years ago now I do remember feeling somewhat numb for a while and then because my Mum was so determined (despite being 82 at the time) to keep going I felt I had to follow suit(I had no siblings).  Our children were adults but my daughter was particular close to her grandad.  I did not offload to anyone in particular at the time but this was because my Dad was a very open man and talked constantly about how he felt about it all and though he was in the hospice for his last couple of weeks (his choice and absolutely the right one for us all) he talked us through it all and I think  that helped me understant the process (as best as anyone can) and I was relieved that he passed peacefully.  Please do offload on the forum when and if you want to.  We cannot physical hold your hand but it does help to talk it through when you feel you have no one else - many people find it easier talking to strangers about things and the hospice staff support the whole family so do ask to talk to someone there if that might help.  How is  your Mum , probably on automatic pilot at present with too much to think about but perhaps just telling her (you may have already had this conversation) that if she needs to talk (same would go for your brother though some men prefer to keep things to themselves) you are there for her - she is probably in protective mode towards you and your brother too to be fair.  Try and take a little time out for yourself as this will give you a little strength.  No sure how old your own children are but my daughter lets her 6yr old see her cry and this has given him some understanding as to why Mummy is sad (he has already seen loss in the family and knows that his grandad is poorly as we answer all his questions as truthfully as possible but without going into too much detail).   Sending a virtual hug and hope you manage to take one day at a time during this most difficult of journies.  Jules x

Hi Barbs, I was just wondering how Martin is doing? x x 

Hi All

I am so sorry to have to say our beloved Martin passed away last Friday. I know he was very ill but it came as a big shock. We all thought antibiotics would help him. But not to be.  I am devastated.

I hope your dad is ok.

Barbara

Barbara, so sad to read the news about Martin.  My condolences to you and your girls at this most difficult of times.Jules

Oh Barbara I am so sorry to hear your sad news about your beloved Martin  my thoughts are with you and your family at this heartbreaking time xSusananne....

Oh Barbara.  I'm so, so sorry to read this.  What a shock.  Sending all our love to you and your family.  Please keep in touch so I know how you are doing x