Hi everyone I don't even know where to start. I lost my mum just over 6 months ago and only now am o beginning to struggle with the fact that I will never see her again. My mum had bladder cancer she had a operation and I guess o thought that she would be ok how wrong was I. In September she started getting sick and couldn't keep any food down so she was admitted to hospital. I called her and visited her as often as I could as she didn't live local to me. The last time I spoke with het she was going to have an operation to remove a blockage that was making her sick. Two days later I got a call from a family member to tell me she was dying and only had 4 hours to live. That drive was the longest of my life but I managed to get there before she passed and tell her how much I loved her. I guess that night was the only time I really cried for her. All my family tell me how she hung on for me to get there and I am so glad I got there but I miss her so much. I got married exactly 6 months after she passed and I so wanted my mum there to see my dress and see how happy I was. I know she knew I was happy and  settled and she loved my husband but it wasn't the same without her there.

Sometimes I want to call her and tell her the latest gossip then i remember I can't. I haven't even been back to our family home since she passed as I daren't  as it isn't the same without her there. Sorry for the rambling but I need to try and get some of this of my chest before I go crazy.