I discovered I had mouth cancer in April 2011. It was in a saliva gland on my upper left jaw.

I don't drink or smoke so the cause is unclear. The oncologist seemed to brush the question aside when I asked... "these things just happen". I thought "I'm just unlucky, I suppose".

I had the surgery to remove the cancer in June 2011 and am clear of the disease, for now at least. Part of my left upper jaw and soft palate were removed. I am on my third obturator since the operation, and fairly used it it. My speech is affected and my nose is numb on one side, making it difficult to detect the need to blown it. I am reluctant to socialise because of this and my natural introversion has been increased.

I am long-term unemployed, so getting back to work after the op has not been an issue for me. It's possible I have clinical depression pre-dating the op, but I have never sought medical help for this (stigma and not wanting a fuss). The after-effects of the op have worsened my feelings of depression and hopelessness. At times I feel very, very low. My relationship with my partner is rocky, too, which doesn't help matters (pre-dates the diagnosis).

I'm trying to study to get back into emlpoyment, but I get so depressed sometimes, it's hard to stay focussed and motivated. In terms of social and employment, I feel like my life is over.

I'm not looking for sympathy. I just want to share my experience so others may learn from them.

Update, August 2015:

In 2013 I was dignaosed with long-term depression. It probably goes back decades but seems to have worsened around ten years ago, leading to my loss of employment.

My wife's attitude to depression is best summarised as "denial". She simply refuses to accept that it is a medical condition. "It's just the way you are".

As for my now returned and metastasised, terminal cancer, I get little if any empathy from her. So life is pretty ***.