Hello Neverimagined,

Welcome to the world of cancer treatments, well more like you are welcome to that world. Being not tolerant of many drugs and allergic to most ,imagine my delight upon hearing that not only would l receive chemo in tablet form,but the added delights of radiotherapy as well. Not content with just tablets pre-surgery, l then experienced the joys of infusion and tablet post surgery.To say the effects of which were truly Biblical would be lacking in widescreen technicolour, and l am no Ben Hur.

Chariot-less, as l dragged my sagging wilted frame up for yet another dash to you know where, well uncontrolled untimed stumble more like, one thought over-rode all others.If l was getting done over this hard,just imagining what my unwanted invader had stumbled into gave me the grim satisfaction that it had made a lousy choice of recipient this time round. 

That one thought was the dulll ight shining in the distance that kept me drawing towards a future that held a promise of dazzling sunlight when l could reach it. Of no use to my piggybacking unwelcome guest because it only lurked in dark unseen places, l knew if l stepped into that light l would do so alone.

Twelve years on the sunlight warms my face, my body has aqquired a chariot to get out and about, admittedly it has a few bent wheels and the brakes are slightly sticking on, but the smile l carry within me more than compensates for the inconveniences garnered along the way.,

l think what l am trying to convey is todays fight can pale into insignificance in tomorrows wins, that your horizons need to stretch further than a few weeks.When you are knee deep in the proverbial it can be difficult to see beyond that and so easy to accomodate negativity into your reasoning.

At first sight cancer looks like it affects your body, but its invidious qualities can have effects on your mind.Caught up with the aftermath of treatments it can be easy to assume you have no control, the drugs will do the physical kicking, but you still have control of your mind and how you focus that

Find your positives in your situation, they will be there hidden amongst the everyday negatives you are having to deal with, use them to furnish the room within your mind, giving less space to the nadgers that pull you down.

l in no way seek to diminish the struggle you find yourself in and acknowledge the place that you currently occupy, being previously a forty times a day man myself, and l am not referring to cigarettes, but seek to offer support in your hard climb back to health, and wish you you the very best in doing so,

David

Hello David

What a really well thought out and uplifting reply to neverimagined's post and to anyone else with cancer who read it. I hope neverimagined got to read it too and Steph's full of info post. Hope you are going on well.

Ed

Farmer_Ed,

thank you for saying so, Going by your pseudonym l think we share the common theme of Agriculture, so are well versed in the arts of frustation and patience which are both very much present in any cancer recovery journey. However, l will admit to just a touch of jealousy when l look South from my sodden hay meadows in the Outer Hebrides seeing sunny high temperatures and bright green haybales with the mower and baler sat serviced in the barn like hopeful maidens waiting for the invitation to a party..The upside (l think?) is trying to count the sheep in pastures that a fair sized elephant could graze in unseen !

Stay well,

David

Hello David

Farming makes for resilient people. There are always problems to overcome. This has helped me deal with cancer in a stoical way. Yes the grass is always greener. Im in south of England and 32C is not pleasant to work  in. And 19 C nights difficult to sleep. We are in drought conditions again this year grass fields are going brown. Last year we missed out on a second cut of grass. Rain came too late to boost yields of crops. Like you Ive worked throughout cancer journey and attribute this to still being here. I still do 2 to 4 hours a day but lighter work and tend a kitchen vegetable garden.  My son does most of it. Hopefully you can get the grass cut on Friday as the high pressure moves north and a dry week to cut ted and bale your hay. Would love to visit Lewis the home of my Morrison ancestors. 

Ed

 Hello Ed,

glad to read you are still on the move, its not only cowboys that want to die with their Boots on..l am right in the midst of Morrison country living in the district of Ness on the Isle of Lewis and previously played hosts to oversea's visitors at a large Clan Morrison gathering some years back now.

Sitting as we do,hard up against the NW coast of the Atlantic the high pressure when visiting tends not to linger too long before it beggars off somewhere else, but as you will know, optimism is a wonderful attribute, and my kitchen garden is looking very lush with all the rain.

take care,

David

Hello David 

Hope you are able to start haymaking while the grass still had good nutritional value. The Viking Morrison genes that gave me fair skin and hair and blue eyes is a double edged sword. It protected me and my forbears against vitamin D deficiency and rickets in the higher latitudes by being very efficient at converting low level sunlight to vitamin D. It also leaves those fair skinned people more susceptible to skin cancers. Like the metastatic SCC I have now. 

Ed

Hello David 

Hope you are able to start haymaking while the grass still had good nutritional value. The Viking Morrison genes that gave me fair skin and hair and blue eyes is a double edged sword. It protected me and my forbears against vitamin D deficiency and rickets in the higher latitudes by being very efficient at converting low level sunlight to vitamin D. It also leaves those fair skinned people more susceptible to skin cancers. Like the metastatic SCC I have now. 

Ed