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Kidney Cancer

Bradanna
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Hi

I have just been diagnosed with Kidney Cancer on Wednesday this week and I am being fast tracked to Urology for further assessment.  Also being monitored for Womb Cancer as my consultant is 90% sure I do not have Cancer in this area but can't be 100%.  This is such new information to me I don't think I have fully absorbed the information, part of me still thinks I have been part of a conversation about someone else.  Today I had to tell my boss at work who was the first person I have had to have this conversation with which was difficult but he was very understanding and supportive.  I have my sisters Ruby Wedding Anniversary gathering of all the family including nephews and nieces and will need to put on a big smile and act as though life is wonderful so I'm hoping I can keep it together.  Having had a lot of professional counselling over the last year due to childhood trauma I am worried about how I will cope mentally.  I have already checked how much life insurance my husband will receive.  This is how I cope with difficult things by being highly organised, understanding everything and yes being in control.  I feel in limbo at the minuite because I need to wait for a phonecall at some point over the next two weeks to have my consultation with the Urologist and go through the tests to identify what type of tumur it is and how large etc.  I am an impatient person by nature so it is this bit of the journey I am already hating! and it has only been less than 48 hours since I was told I had Cancer in one of my Kidneys.

I had originally been seen by a gynaecology consultant privately who is also the lead at the district hospital for gynaecology and cancer.  After the first MRI Scan something else showed up that they were not focussed on so I had a second MRI scan focussed on that area, then something else showed up which I had a CT scan for.  This is how it was found in the Kidney.  So it has been a bit of a wirl wind.   My sister has had brest cancer stage 4 and survived it and I am dreading telling her.  My Dad passed about 22 months ago and he had pancreatic cancer but he did not have that on his death certificate, he had died of old age at 96, he was a very stoic person.  I hope I have some of these strong genes and the luck my sister and dad had.  I am 62 and was looking forward to spending some relaxed years towards my retirement at 67 but it just seems one thing after another.  I have Glaucoma and have had a few operations on both of my eyes and also complex spinal surgery due to stenosis of the spine affecting my legs.

To be honest I feel like going to a children's cancer ward to stop feeling sorry for myself, this was the line of conversation I used with my Dad to try help him to feel gratitude instead of feeling sorry for himself.  I'm sure I will be up and down with my emotions and when I think of Jane Tomlinson I really don't know how she did what she did after being diagnosed, I hope I can follow this journey through with wisdom, courage and compose myself with gratitude and have the grit to fight this disease and come out the other-side.

So this is me and where I am at right now at the beginning of this journey feeling really *** off! and impatient to get started with the fight.

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    Hello Bradanna and a very warm welcome to Cancer Chat, 

    Thank you for sharing the details of your kidney cancer diagnosis journey. I can sense your impatience to just get on with it and start the fight and this is a time for you when you might be feeling that you have to wait all the time, when everything seems to require endless patience and answers are not coming quickly enough. Add to this having to be monitored for womb cancer even if the consultant is 90% sure you don't have cancer in this area, but I can understand you just need definite confirmation of this as soon as possible. 

    It's good that they have fast tracked you to urology for a further assessment and I hope that you will be seen very quickly now. It must all be a bit of a shock for you with a lot of information you are having to process and perhaps you don't even have all the pieces of the puzzle yet so it must all be a bit confusing so shortly after the initial diagnosis. I am glad though that your boss at work has been so supportive - it's so important to have an understanding employer. It must be hard at this time for you to have the courage to smile and act as if everything is wonderful for your sister's ruby anniversary and I hope that you will manage to have a good time with your family and that it will take your mind off the long anxious wait for answers. Sometimes distraction is the best strategy and helps time go a bit faster when you feel a bit stuck in limbo and I thought I would share with you our helpful tips on how to cope while waiting for important news. It's good that you are aware of your fragilities when it comes to mental health and if feel you are struggling to cope, don't bottle things up but talk to your counsellor if it helps. We have information too on our website on mental health when you're diagnosed with cancer. 

    It's perfectly fine to want to feel in control and keep on top of things and you seem to have amazing organisational skills which I am sure others around you appreciate and I can imagine that during this limbo phase, you want to feel like you are doing something and that you can get things sorted that you can control and you also want to feel prepared and know what to expect. It might be useful for you to read our kidney cancer page which has detailed information for example on staging and treatment for kidney cancer. 

    I keep everything crossed for you and hope as you said that you have inherited your dad's good genes and sister's good luck. Poor you it has been one thing after another for you with the glaucoma and undergoing complex spinal surgery. You write beautifully and show great determination and I hope that you will connect with others on here who are also going through the same as you at the moment and had an initial kidney cancer diagnosis. 

    I also wanted to make you aware of another member  's kidney cancer thread from a couple of months ago which you are welcome to contribute to if you feel like chatting to others who are or have been in the same boat and had a kidney cancer diagnosis. Bushy was at the time also in shock after the diagnosis and waiting to have surgery and you will see on that thread other members who commented and shared their kidney cancer story like  and  or also  . I hope that you will get chatting soon to others on here who have been there, done that, and come out the other end. 

    We're all with you in this fight Bradanna and the forum is here anytime you need to offload or chat to others who really understand how you are feeling and what you are going through at the moment. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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