Breast cancer survivor

Hi I’m 54 years old and in December I found a lump in my right breast. To say I was shocked and scared is an understatement. Last year, April 2025, my eldest daughter (32 at the time) was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. So for me to find a lump 8 months later, well let’s just say it wasn’t on my bingo card! Anyway I had a biopsy, mammogram and ultrasound on the 29th December and was told it was most likely cancer. On the 12th January, with both of my daughters with me, I was told it was cancer and I would need a mastectomy. I had that done on the 10th February and am almost recovered, still a bit numb in places and still get a bit sore now and then. But mentally and emotionally it has been a lot for me. The mum guilt is awful, why am I okay and my daughter isn’t?! I didn’t even need radiotherapy or chemotherapy. I’m on anastrazole for 5 years. I have started counselling as I just can’t get my head around any of it. Anyway that has been my year, just living with cancer one way or another. 

  • Hi Ange,

    A very warm welcome to the forum.

    I am so sorry to hear of what you and your daughter have been through in the past year. I can fully understand the "mum guilt". Don't let this eat away at you. It's not your fault and there's nothing you could have done to prevent it. It sounds as if you and your daughters are close knit. All you can do is to be there for your daughter and support her on her journey.

    I am glad to see that you are recovering from your mastectomy and only needed Anastrazole treatment after it. How are you coping with this and do you know what type and stage of breast cancer you have?

    I lost my mum and father-in-law to secondary cancer before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had 2 bouts of breast cancer and 1 of pre-cancer in the first year of diagnosis. I had a lumpectomy first and a double mastectomy for the second bout and followed this up with Letrozole for 6½ years. That was all 16 years ago and I still lead a busy and fulfilling life.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you're both getting on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx,

  • Hi Jolamine 

    Thank you so much for replying. Me and my daughters are all very close, so we have all been there for each other. My youngest daughter stayed with me for a week after my surgery to look after me. She’s also been there for her sister. I caught mine very early, stage 1. It was an invasive lobular carcinoma. 

    Obviously I worry about a recurrence, but I try not to let that take over my every day life. I’m starting to get back to normal, but haven’t gone back to work yet, and to be honest I’m not sure if I will. Having the diagnosis myself has changed my whole outlook and my priorities. With my daughter’s diagnosis as well, I want to spend as much time with her and the kids as possible. 

    Sorry to hear about your mum and dad as well. I lost my mum 7 years ago to high grade non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I lost my dad 14 years ago but that wasn’t cancer. Glad to hear you are living a fulfilling life now after your diagnosis.

    Thank you I will keep in touch