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Awaiting the news to find out if my mum has cancer - how do you get through this?

augustgirl08
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Hi for now i'll go by August girl.

I'm 19, soon to be 20 in august hence the name, currently a university student and working 2 part time jobs. At the moment i'm waiting for my mum to be diagnosed with cancer, she's been having pain in her stomach and blood loss for a few months and for the past month she has been on sick leave from work as advised by her doctor. The other week she had a gynecology appointment at the hospital, during this, the doctor discovered 2 lumps at the top where the ovaries/womb are. He said to my mum that he was 99.9% sure they were cancerous lumps so they did a biopsy, it's been a week and it is basically a waiting game at the moment waiting for the letter back to confirm it. 

I was shocked at first as anyone would be but I was strong and didn't cry or let my emotions show it wasn't until a few days ago I finally cracked. I have always been an emotional person ever since I was a child, i've constantly been called a worry worm and I overthink too much. Knowing that my mum might have this makes me angry, sad and anxious. I don't know how i'm meant to carry on with everyday life knowing that this horrible illness has gotten my mum, it's unfair. 

At the same time I suffer with my own health, I have a chronic heart condition, and constantly have to maintain what I do during the day otherwise I flare up easily. My second job is starting this week i'm not excited for it if anything I don't want to do it. yeah the extra money is nice but recently i've lost interest I won't be surprised if I end up leaving after a few months and just stick with my first job. 

I guess I just want to speak to people with similar experiences and how I can get help during this time.

Thanks

  • Hello AugustGirl08

    I'm sorry to hear that your Mum has recently had some health concerns and that she's now waiting for the results of a biopsy. It's understandable that this is a difficult time for you both, and natural that you're feeling anxious and worried about what this might mean for your Mum. 

    I know that many of the community members here will agree that this period of waiting and uncertainty can be really difficult. The unknown can be a scary prospect to face, and it's natural that our minds run through all possible outcomes. Hopefully, your Mum will have her results soon, and the specialists will be able to offer some reassurance about the next steps in treating things. 

    In the meantime, it sounds like you might perhaps find it helpful to talk with someone about how you're feeling. Does your university offer student counselling support? Or is there a pastoral support officer you could reach out to? It may be that one of your employers offers an EAP (Employee Assistance Programme) where you can access telephone support. Or, of course, you're most welcome to give our team of nurses a call to talk things through. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information and support they can. If you'd like to talk with them, they're available Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Hopefully over the coming weeks you'll have some answers and reassurance. Keep in touch and let us know how your Mum gets on AugustGirl08. We're here for you. 

    Sending you both my best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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    Heya. The waiting is the hardest part. I had a bone biopsy and a nuclear medicine bone scan too. I’d give MacMillan a call, they are very good. During treatment on a children’s cancer ward I did puzzles and art as well. I used to ask for a print out of any test results so that I could refer back to them later on. Best wishes. Keep us posted too.  We are here for you. 

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    I know my daughter was shocked at my breast cancer diagnosis and it was a very difficult time for her. I wanted her to know what was going on, so she came along to the meetings with my surgeon and I gave her all the literature to read. She appreciated that she was involved and consulted on the decisions. It was important to her that she wasn't shut out of it all. Communicating how you're both feeling is important, I think. It was to us. 

    We found that there was a lot of help available. Practical things like transport to appointments and support from places like this forum, Macmillan nurses, maggies.org and the nurses and doctors treating me. I'd advise letting your work know what's happening, because they could help too. If available, take advantage of the local charities. Ours offered things like massage, a great help if you're feeling stressed, aromatherapy sessions, relaxation and therapy sessions. All helpful things when you're going through something like this. 

    Take care of yourself too and I hope some of this helps. 

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