Hoping for some advice for my lovely Mum. In 2024 she had her kidney, ureter and part of her bladder removed due to stage 3 aggressive cancer in her ureter. This was followed up with chemo which sadly had to be stopped due to her remaining kidney struggling to cope. She managed a few months cancer free, but sadly recent scans have shown the cancer to have spread to local lymph nodes, and lymph nodes in her neck. 

We had a rather depressing Oncology apt this week. The consultant offered Immunotherapy but really pushed how this could reduce the quality of her life. We asked what would happen if she did not have this treatment and he said 'we will just scan again in 3 months and see what's happening with the cancer then'. 3 months seems like a very long time to wait for an update. We asked what a timeline might look like with no treatment and he said 'are you sure that you want me to answer this question today'. It all felt a bit cold and dismissive and I did not feel like Mum was being supported or made to feel like she had enough information to make a decision whether to have this treatment or not. 

We are all in shock and terrified of what the path ahead looks like. Mum is unsure whether to start this treatment as the consultant said it is only effective 55% of the time, and she is worried she could become very unwell. She has previously had an auto immune disease (Polymyalgia), so is extra worried. The consultant flagged very severe side effects.

We are wondering if we should get a second option with how to proceed? We know the diagnosis of her cancer will not change but we feel really floored and sort of 'left to it', which is a really horrible feeling especially knowing that she may not have long left.