Cancer Research UK main site

Lost touch with my son since diagnosis of stage 4 BC with mets to liver and bones

Sal_Beachy
Offline

Hi, I was diagnosed 18month ago with stage 4 BC mets to liver and bones. Pre diagnosis,  I split from my long term partner (20yrs) since new diagnosis he had managed to manipulate my 19yr old son, that this is for attention. My once devoted and very close son now wants nothing to do with me.  But can't tell me why just 'has his reasons and doesn't have to explain or justify them to me ' 

I agree with him to some extent But have heard these words from his dad (my ex) I various situations for the last 20yrs. 

I'm truly heartbroken. Can anyone offer any words of wisdom???

  • Offline

    That's very sad. Have you considered writing to your son? Maybe just about your diagnosis and current medical situation rather attempting to persuade him to be "on your side"?  Maybe suggest meeting on neutral territory? It may be that he's scared about what's happening to you? I don't have any experience of your situation though sadly plenty of experience with cancer. 

    I do hope you can establish communication.

    Helen

  • Offline in reply to SFUC

    Thank you, for your reply.

    I am going to write him letters in a book, that won't be sent but will be there to show that I always love and think about him.

    I am going to write a dated entry - nit necessary every day, just when there is something funny or something I  think he will be interested in etc.

    He sadly won't meet me, and considers even neutral people to be influenced by me. 

    Fingers crossed for a little light in this tunnel.

  • Offline in reply to Sal_Beachy

    The book sounds like a good idea. 

    Are you able to send him birthday/Christmas cards? I think keeping the communications open at your end is perhaps all you can do right now. Is it worth getting someone else to write the envelopes in case he knows your handwriting? I wish I had more suggestions. Have you thought about counselling to help you with this impossibly sad situation?

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.