I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It must have come as a terrible shock to be told that your cancer had metastasised so soon after your initial diagnosis. It is no wonder that you feel so overwhelmed and alone. My mum battled breast cancer for 12 years before she was told that it had spread to her liver, lungs, brain and bone. Are you living on your own or just feeling alone? This is a common reaction to such a diagnosis. Do you have a family member or friend, who you can confide in? It really does help to be able to talk about how you feel openly and honestly. There are also several cancer support groups throughout the country, which you might find helpful. I attended Maggie's, when I was first diagnosed and found them very helpful. You can pop in for a chat and a cuppa any time, or make an appointment to see a counsellor, who can talk through how you feel and help to put things in perspective. Maggie's are dotted throughout the country. If you don't have one near you, there are a number of other charities, which go under different names, Your specialist nurse, GP or practice nurse should be able to help you find local support.
Are you still having any treatment? Have you looked at Macmillan's Secondary Breast Cancer Forum or Breast Cancer Now also has a 'Living with Secondary Breast Cancer'. You have to request to join this area, but it is helpful to be able to talk to others who are in a similar position.
Do please keep in touch and remember that we are always here for you.
I live with my two teenage children, lost my husband to Brain Cancer 4 years ago just feel like I’m living a different version of a reoccurring nightmare, tried to talk to family members but they just don’t seem to really understand, just feel sorry for me
I am so sorry to hear that you lost your husband to cancer. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair. What ages are your children and are they supporting you in any way, also how are they coping with your diagnosis? Many of us find it hard to understand the reaction of friends and relatives to our diagnosis. Some people just don't know what to say, or they are afraid of saying the wrong things. Others just walk away or pass us by in the street. My experience mirrored that of many others, in that I did experience this reaction with some people who I considered to be friends, but I also got tremendous support from other sources, which I least expected.
You will find that the people who really listen to you will most likely be those who have been touched by cancer and appreciate how overwhelming a cancer diagnosis can be. I have had some tremendous support from some of these people in the past 16 years.
Hi im jane and I have the same all I do is thin about it all ..I have two daughters and a Grandson he is 2 and a half.i live with my youngest daughter..I also just lost my half brother to cancer last week. so every day is hard to know what to think about it all. but what I fo know is I get up each day and try to live. wish I had answers to why we have this awful cancer .you are not alone hun .I promise. xxxx
I am so sorry to hear that you lost your half brother so recently and send my condolences to you and your family. Can I ask when you got your diagnosis and what treatment you've had? With 1 in 2 people now having cancer and figures still growing, I suppose that we will all get to know more people who are affected by this disease. I am glad to hear that you live with your youngest daughter and hope that you find both of your girls a great support. Does your other daughter live nearby? At 2½ your wee grandson must be a joy. I expect that he probably lifts your spirits more than anyone else!
Hi Jane and Jolamine, thank you both for your kind words and support, x
Cancer is such a *** disease. I know we just have to keep fighting and enjoy what life we have left but as I’m sure you both know that trying to stay positive when you feel so *** is so tiring and sometimes the darkness creeps in. By answering my post You were a shining light on a very dark day. ️
I love your name iam on immune machine and also take tablets for my heart .lungs and boob's. my daughters try there best .my younwho is 27 has mental health issues. her dad was not a good person to r .so I take care off her more.my oldest is focused on her wedding which is on the 27th of this month. my grandson is my joy hope you are OK xxx
Hi im the same i have dark days im having them at the moment .but I do know im not alone just can be hard to believe it .please believe you are not alone .we all need a hug and im sending you a very ig hug .please do something for yourself each day like read a page in a book .write how you feel down .watch rubbish on the.v .I love Christmas films lol stay in touch love Jane ️
It sounds as if you are have a lot on your hands, over and above your cancer. I am sorry to hear that your youngest daughter has mental health problems, but hope that these are well managed. So, you have a wedding to look forward to - that sounds really exciting. As you say, it is hard to keep positive all of the time and darkness does creep in - We refer to this as the rollercoaster of a cancer diagnosis - up one minute and down the next. All we can doo is to keep battling on and, if things get too dark, come and speak to us - we all know what it's like when those demons start creeping in!
I am glad to hear that we managed to get a tiny ray of light into your life on such as dark day. It is indeed hard to be positive all of the time. Do you have any hobbies or interests that might help to take your mind off cancer? It is so all encompassing that it tends to take over every thought. If you can find something that takes your attention to a different topic, this can help. I found doing a jigsaw was quite cathartic and I could always leave it and go back to it later if I was too tired or couldn't concentrate.
Please stay in touch and remember that we are always here for you.
