Hello Fluffi x im so sorry you’re having a pretty rough time of it x of course you’re going to be thinking about it , who wouldn’t ? When I got my diagnosis it was over the phone as I was on holiday , for the next 2 weeks my mind was In Overdrive and I googled every possible scenario ; which to be honest didn’t help . When I got home and had face to face consultation at which point everything was explained , the plan of action was discussed and agreed and date for breast conservation surgery was made . I came out feeling so much calmer because I now knew exactly what was going to happen . I think and hope that you msy feel better once you know what you’re up against . Of course I don’t know what will happen in the future but I’m trying my best to just take one step at a time. I wish you well and how you feel is how you feel , you’re not a robot and you’re definitely not inadequate!

Thank you Tuckertom.

It's good to know I am normal. It is the waiting that is the worst part. I think as you said once I know the plan of action I really hope I feel better.

Sending good wishes to you

Thank you so much

Sending best wishes to you

What you say sounds very familiar.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November last year.  Waiting for results of scans is really nerve racking but I also found the MRI scans in themselves quite difficult.  I understand what you say about being scared about what the treatments involve.  However not all the side effects of treatments happen to everyone eg I did not feel sick when I had chemotherapy.  I get what you say about not wanting to let people down.  You feel they really want to hear that you’re doing fine and that nothing is too bad.  However I doubt that that there are many people who sail through the treatment unscathed.  All the patients that you see walking around hospital look as they’re coping but you have no idea what’s going on inside their heads.  I am told that medical professionals are used to seeing people struggling to cope so if you come forward as the next person I’m sure it will be like water off a ducks back.  All the times I have come forward to ask for help I have never regretted it…I think it s natural to feel anxious in other areas of your life eg you mention going out.  Your whole equilibrium has been disturbed and there is bound to be a ripple effect beyond the cancer.  Counselling might be worth considering and also medication if the anxiety becomes unbearable.  I hope this helps.  Good luck!

Thank you so much for your reply. I must admit that by writing this post I do feel better. I have decided to keep some notes as I feel this might help me. If it get too much I am going to ask for some sort of help as I need to realise that I am not letting anyone down by not asking only myself.

Sending you best wishes and thanks once again 

Just an update , I had my breast conserving surgery 28 may and lymph node removal . Today unfortunately I have been told they need to go in again as not happy with margin . So back again on 25 June , I have been told the chances are still 1 in 5 thst this second surgery may still not be enough . So I asked if a mastectomy at that point was an option to which the answer was yes . So if I’m not clear after 2nd excision I have decided that will be my route . It will then be done and dusted . I am small breasted so I think too much being removed will leave me with a very flattened breast and im quite happy to wear a prosethic in a bra . I think my husband had taken this news worse than me , sometimes harder for partners . I hope you are doing ok 

1. Sorry to hear  you have to go back As for me finally got my appointment to tell me what the plan is! Hope all goes well for you xx

Hi Tuckertom

I am sorry to hear that you didn't get clear margins and know how frustrating this is. I am glad to see that you already have an appointment for your next surgery and I hope that this will be successful. I hope that you won't need to go for a mastectomy, but wanted to reassure you that you can manage with this. I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and 1 of pre-cancer, all within a year of each other. I had a lumpectomy for the first bout and a double mastectomy for the others. Unfortunately, due to previous non-caner related surgery, I was not a suitable candidate for reconstruction. I manage well with a selection of assorted prostheses, which work well for different activities. 

I hope that your surgery on 25th June will be successful. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you for sharing your experience x hopefully it will go well but if not I know where I’m going next