Hi Artslover25, and a warm welcome to the forum, though I'm so sorry you have to be here, I also have prostate cancer, 3 years now and can tell you all the feelings and emotions your dad and you are having are perfectly normal, personally I'm not sure which is the hardest, being carer or cared for. Having been on both sides, I would lean to being the carer.

Your dad's emotions are likely to change now he's on hormone therapy and  radiotherapy, losing all your testosterone does change you, so if dad gets a little tearful and empathetic, it's ok, and why shouldn't you have rough days, your dad has cancer, the man whose always been there for you, your rock is very poorly 

The therapeutic radiographers are lovely, everyone says that, and they will help you and your dad anyway they can, but Artslover25, if I could offer you a little advice, accept all the support you are entitled to, and don't forget to look after yourself as well.

Eddie xx 

Thank you. Yes. I was hoping there was an email address on the papers my dad was given on Thursday but they were contact numbers in case a treatment had to be rescheduled due to illness or something. I guess I'm overtired too which heightens things. I'll be going with him on Wednesday by myself to give mum a break to see a friend she hasn't seen for a while if that goes ahead. If there is a chat with the radiographers before each session, which I think there is (there was a lot of information to take in, in the first one), I'll ask them then for an email address. I get my thoughts out better when written instead of over the phone. 

About the looking after myself as well, I said on another forum that I'm not that great at doing that. I know what I can do, it's the feeling up to doing it I think. Walks in nature do help in the moment though

Your welcome. And I well remember all the information you get bombarded with, it's difficult at the beginning to absorb everything, which is why self care is so important, walking in the countryside was my escape.

I'm sure if you tell them, you're more comfortable with the written word, than talking about things, the radiographers will help, can I ask does your dad have a cancer nurse specialist CNS, she or he is your link to your team 

And can I recommend a book "online" fighting prostate cancer, a survival guide  by Jyoty Shah, extremely helpful and and easy to understand.

Eddie xx  

Yeah. Not that I know of. I can't remember if the lady we saw is the main lady we'd see unless she had to help elsewhere. I know the second session yesterday was with someone else. 

Yeah. I'll see what the situation is for wednesday nearer the time and go from there. Dad's prostate cancer was found in December last year where he took hormone tablets for a little while, where there was a gap and then the first radiotherapy dates were given. November 2024 wasn't great when I first found out. But 2025 seems to quite a bit worse. I can get quite anxious and I overthink a lot so that doesn't help either

Sorry you have anxiety issues to deal with on top of your dad's diagnosis, I don't know what hospital your dad's attending, but many cancer hospitals have a Maggies centre on site, great places for support and advice, just drop in 9am to 5pm, weekdays, no appointment needed, check  www.maggies.org  to see if you have one local.

Eddie 

I'm not formally diagnosed with anxiety or anything but I'm at a point now where I feel like I should tell a doctor. I know about Maggie's as Mum mentioned them to me. I'll look at the website now thank you. I didn't realise they had one.

An ambulance has been called for him as I woke up to him telling mum to phone one as he was having chest pains. I went into full on panic then and now I don't know what's going on at the moment. He got himself downstairs after mum went to look out for them to open the door. Neither of them know I'm awake now. Paramedic in a car is downstairs with my parents now

Oh Artslover25, I'm sorry to take so long to reply, and to hear about your dad, what an awful thing for you and your parents to have this happen, I  hope the paramedic has helped your dad and your feeling a little better now, and absolutely my friend if you believe you suffer from anxiety you should seek support, I have counselling at my hospice and it helps you realise what your feeling is normal and there are ways of dealing with it. I do hope by now your dad is doing better and you and your parents are feeling a little calmer too. 

Eddie 

He did. Mum told me he was given entinox where I said that I assumed that was to calm him down. He seemed to be much brighter today which is nice. We went for a short walk at our local park like we do most days. Tomorrow he's back in hospital for radiotherapy so he'll likely be anxious. Mum will speak to him tomorrow or Tuesday about me going with him on my own on wednesday so mum has a break to see a friend of hers she hasn't seen for a little while. He's said that was OK previously. I messaged Maggie's on Facebook too and they gave me some information about the service. Will ask the radiographers about a contact email when I next see them too

Hi Artslover25, that's good news regarding your dad, and your right, entonox, it helps with anxiety and gives pain relief, and it's good to hear your dad is getting a little exercise as it will help him through treatment, and as you know having radiotherapy is not a difficult experience, the radiographers will notice signs of anxiety and support your dad through treatment, and they are there for you as well, but it's understandable to be a little nervous, but I and many friends who've been through it found the whole experience a positive one, fingers crossed Wednesday goes well for you all, I'm glad you've contacted Maggies, and after a difficult start to the day, things are much better.

Eddie 

Yeah, I knew it was given to pregnant women and for different injuries, but didn't know it was given to help with anxiety. I had it when I broke my arm nearly 10 years ago but didn't really use it properly because I was screaming so much.. 

Yeah the one radiographer I've met so far was so lovely. It made me think, I'm glad I've got them in our corner, you know? I've always been very grateful to the NHS and I'd say in awe of what they do and how. Seeing this side of it seems to have increased that feeling even more.