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Just starting my own cancer journey, after caring for my terminally ill partner for the last 18 months

Mand1
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Hi everyone

So very long story short I have been caring for my partner who is terminally ill with cancer for the last 18 months. I started getting some pain from what I thought was a pile recently but saw a consultant last Friday who thinks it may be cancer. Still have to get scans and biopsy done but my head is spinning. Trying so hard not to think that everything my partner has gone through is going to happen to me but how the heck do you forget the side effects of chemo, stoma ops and the news there is nothing they can do.

I know it's early days but as a pessimist it's really hard not to feel like you know what's gonna happen and how awful it's going to be.

Sorry for the negativity xx

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    Hi Mandi

    It is hard not to jump ahead when you know the possible outcomes of cancer having seen first hand your partner's experience. However you must take one step at a time and deal with it in small chunks. You cannot visualise your future in a bad way from beginning to end or it will make you ill through stress. The consultant does not know you have cancer and has arranged tests to rule it out. That is positive so wait for those results. I know that is the hard part. You do not have to apologise for the negativity every single person on this forum has experienced it at one time or another.

    Wishing the best possible outcome for you test results.

    Ed

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    Hi, so sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. It is hard to be positive sometimes but keep talking about your hopes and dreams and the things that worry you.

    I have terminal cancer having palliative chemo and my husband has just had 2nd brain tumour. Coping with my chemo side effects and his surgery and radiotherapy effects are a challenge but we face it together everyday.

    Make the best of every moment together and talk to each other being as open and honest as you can. We had both just taken early retirement with lots of plans for the future- now we just do them slightly differently and slower.Always try and have something to look forward to even if it is just a take away with friends 

    I wish you all the very best and I hope that the results are not as bad as expected.

    Take care x

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