Diagnostic stage and pessimistic consultant

Hello. Husband has multiple bilateral lesions on liver and significantly elevated tumor markers.

Also pronounced weight loss, nausea, exhaustion and chronic pain in upper right quadrant.

No formal diagnosis yet. But pragmatic consultant who says it's not looking good. Says it shows all signs of secondary cancer.

Two scans this far. Nothing hopeful.

Colonoscopy and endoscopy Thursday.

Further complication of type.1 diabetes. 

Just incredibly sad and want to know how best to support.

  • Hello Samantha, and just to say, I am so sorry for what you and your husband are going through.  The best way to support your husband is to simply be there for him, just as you are right now.........if he wants to talk about it, let him talk, and if he doesn't want to talk about it, let him be quiet.  You might find that he will withdraw from you emotionally and go in on himself.......please don't think that he is rejecting you, it is something that  many people who are seriously ill do.  It's kind of like an attempt to process what is happening to them, and they shut everyone out, but this doesn't mean that they no longer care for their loved ones.  As for the consultant, it is apparent that he is trying to prepare you and your husband for the worst news, and whilst this might seem cruel, I think that  this approach is better than sugar-coating, whereby a consultant gives you false hope.  I truly understand how you feel Samantha, because I have walked in your shoes..........you want someone to tell you that there is a glimmer of hope, and that things are not as bad as they seem...........to hear the harsh, brutal truth is painful isn't it?  However, you are now aware of the reality of your husband's situation and you have done the right thing in coming to this forum.  The folks on here understand EXACTLY what you are going through.........and we all truly feel for you.  We are here to listen to you, and any time you need to talk, or even have a rant, please feel free to do so.  Sometimes, the knowledge that others understand what we are going through is a huge help to us.  xx

  • Samantha I am so very sorry for the pain you are going through with your husband. I am in a similar boat.

    Blue-girl your post was very comforting to me too as my husband won’t talk to me either and won’t even engage in any treatment. 

    Samantha I try to keep myself as strong as I can, I get up early and enjoy the quiet time to walk the dogs, do a bit of reading, whatever. 

    sending love and strength to you x

  • Morning Blue-girl,  all that you are going through and you are still helping and comforting others.  You have my deepest admiration.

    Lee x