How can I support my dad?

Hello all, I don’t really know where to start, and I’m honestly still struggling to take everything in, but on Valentine’s Day my dad who is my absolute hero was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.

To say I’m devastated is an understatement because last year my dad over came a Sarcoma tumour and we thought he’d kicked cancer in the butt.

I am an only child and a week previously my mom was moved to a dementia care home, and I just feel like everything has hit me at once.

I want to support my dad without being overbearing because he is staying so positive, they’ve given him 18 months maximum with chemotherapy but he’s having none of it and said he’ll aim for another 5 years to be able to see my daughter graduate university!!

Im not sleeping, and im so run down and clearly having a pity party, but how do I stay strong? I am a bonafide daddies girl and he’s my best mate, but Im scared to hug him in case I hurt him or pass on a cold etc, which is probably me being neurotic.

Ive never felt so many different emotions in such a short space of time, shock, anger, disbelief, anxiety over what happens next.

I don’t want to say or do the wrong thing, because my dad is such a proud, hardworking man.

I apologise for the long winded rant, I just needed to get it all out, and any advice would be so appreciated 

  • Hello Lolly83 and welcome to Cancer Chat,

    I'm really sorry to learn about your dad.

    I can imagine that it's been a difficult time for you recently and it must be hard for you as a family. It's also hard for you personally, so it's important to be kind to yourself and allow space for all these emotions you're feeling. Sometimes it's hard to know what to do in caring for a loved one, but we have some guidance for family friends and carers which I hope will be useful to you. It's also encouraging to hear your dad is remaining positive.

    I can see you have a strong relationship with your dad and I'm sure he feels so lucky to have you supporting him.   

    Best wishes,

    Moderator Anastasia

  • I am sending all my hugs bab. My dad has vascular dementia copd advanced and lung cancer. He was given 2 years 2 and a half years ago. Take each hour one at a time at the moment and know I’m here for you in this x