Hi Fiona,  I am sorry that you find yourself on this horrible journey.  To go through so much in four years is horrible.  Do you think the secondary cancer could be from the breast cancer?  I think it is more common for the breast cancer to spread into the bones.  I had stage 3 breast cancer 12 years ago and had lumpectomy, chemo and then radio therapy and tamoxifen/letrazole for five years.  Last year I went to doctor with back ache.  I also have secondary cancer and it is in my pelvis, spine and ribs.  No surgical option.  I also found it very painful.  I have now started treatment to control and slow the cancer down.  I think it is so horrible when you are in the waiting stage and not knowing what treatment you will be having.  I waited from March last year until I August when I was officially diagnosed.  They told me it was just osteoarthritis at first.  I think that once you have a treatment plan in place, it will get easier.  I am on tramadol for the pain.  I was prescribed morphine but it didnt seem to agree with me.  The pain does get better when you start treatment.  I also find that walking helps me with the pain.  I wish you luck.  You are not alone.  I am here if you with to chat. Sending hugs.

Lee x

Thank you so much for your response Lee. I found tramadol made me vomit so I am getting a medication review soon so hope that helps. I was also treated for osteoarthritis which I do have, so that probably hid the spread of my cancer. I will be glad to get better pain control but dealing with the reality of my situation is hard. How do you cope? 

Hi Fiona,  I also found tramadol made me sick and nauseous so I take cyclizine twice a day for it and it has been fine.  I have osteoarthritis as well and osteoporosis from the cancer medication from twelve years ago.  I am on the Macmilllan cancer forum the one for incurable cancer.  It is helpful for me to chat with others who are all in the same boat as me.  A lot of people have been told they have so many years/months to live and are still here many years on.  I guess everyone is different and we all cope in different ways.  I think you are in the waiting stage which I think is the worst place to be.  Once you find out your treatment plan it will get better.  Someone told me to keep on my normal routine as much as possible so that is what I do.  It was my husbands birthday yesterday and we went out for a meal and I had wine ( a lot of wine ) ha ha.  I find that walking as much as possible helps with my pain, if I sit down and do nothing it seems to be worse.  I do have four dogs so I have to walk them every day.    Are you able to get out and about?  There is a lady on the other chat and she always says, Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today a gift.  Please keep in touch and talk, it helps.

Lee x

Thanks so much Lee. I’ve been in a daze since finding out the news and so emotional. I’ve not been outside my front door since August due to increasing mobility problems caused by my knee osteoarthritis - I’ve got a fixed flexion deformity so I literally walk with my knees bent a bit as they won’t straighten properly. The pain from that causes further back pain and of course his the pain of my cancer spreading.  I am keen to get out and about while I can. I do go out for lunch where I can park close or can get a taxi to a restaurant. But I’ve lost all motivation probably since the second cancer being diagnosed last February ( Valentine’s Day it was). I will look for the chat group you mentioned and join that. I know I am going to need to find positive people like you to engage with. I do feel a bit better in my head today and see my oncologist on Thursday to talk about the plan going forward. Thanks so much for responding and being so helpful. 
Fiona xx