Hi,

I have been living life since my tongue biopsy in July 2022 and subsequent surgery in September 2022.

I was diagnosed with moderate dysplasia on my tongue and had the area removed. 6 monthly checks ups followed and now I am preparing for my second tongue biopsy on Wednesday 4th Dec.

I remember the last one vividly, my tongue wasn’t sore then but it is now leading up to this procedure.

I changed my life 2 years ago after surgery, changed to working a part time job that I love, the small team are wonderful and our work makes people happy in the community where I live and beyond.  I look after my 3 year old granddaughter 1 day a week and I have 1 day off to do housework or go to lunch with family or friends.

I have a wonderful husband, 2 grown beautiful daughters and sweet grandchildren and I count my blessings every day, I realise some people don’t have that.

I am 58 and my mum had oral cancer but she was much older than me, she smoked for quite a few years, I have never smoked but grew up in a house of smoke.

My mum was also a narcissist and I didn’t realise until I was in my 50’s, ultimately I had been with her during her biopsies and neck dissection op which was awful and she got secondary breast cancer and died in Nov 2021.

I have lots of emotion not just around my ongoing journey but also the fact that I went no contact with my mum the year before she died because my mum decided to leave her husband of 29 years when he was dying of cancer, he died 6 weeks after she left him and I couldn’t comprehend why she did that…

3 months before mum died she called me, I went to see her but I was guarded, I felt very sad because I thought we had always been close but I didn’t really understand why our relationship was not right.

I stayed with her the night before she died and I felt I did what I needed for closure. She did say to me she shouldn’t have left her husband and I didn’t respond.
My mum was awful after my step father died and said if I went to his funeral she wouldn’t go. Of course I was going to his funeral but she didn’t attend.

My brother and his wife encouraged mum to leave her doting husband and got her to change her will leaving everything to them. My love for my mum was never what I could get from her, in fact I doted on her, it was based on love and respect but it was sorely tested and I was let down. 

I had a nervous breakdown after mum died and that delayed me following up on my dentists concerns about my tongue ulcers.

All my emotions about my journey are still entangled in what happened with my mum and I don’t know how to separate them and it feels harder for me now, constantly going back and reliving what happened with my mum.

I have a fabulous sister who went no contact with mum 3 years before she died because my mum was hateful towards her, I thank god for my sister every day and we talk lots.

Gosh so much to unpick, my head is spinning and it’s 3.30 in the morning.

I am so anxious about getting my biopsy results but I am also very grateful for the love I feel around me.

Does anyone have a positive story about second tongue biopsies for dysplasia. I feel a bit swamped by doom and gloom and worry about getting an outcome that is going to start me on a very tough journey, I know this time it feels different.

Thank you if you read this far. What I feel saddest about is all my family and closest friends are worrying too but they wouldn’t say to me that they are. I wish they didn’t have to deal with my journey either.