I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend and of course this causes us to question our own mortality. My situation has a similarity with yours - lumpectomy and axillary lymph node clearance in May of this year followed by 20 sessions of radiotherapy and 7 years of hormone treatment with Letrozole. When I had possession of the complete pathology report this  freaked me out and made me think of the likelihood of a recurrence. I don't think I shall ever be able to blank out these thoughts but logic tells me that with the appropriate interventions I could be fine and that worrying about the future is utterly pointless. My husband had stomach cancer nearly six years ago and despite the odds he is still with me so there are people who survive this awful disease.

Family members cannot understand how the trauma of having cancer invade a part of us will affect our outlook on life and,naturally, think we should be positive. It is galling when they say, "You look so well!" and dismiss any negative reply as hypochondria. Most assume that once cancer is "cut out" that's it and we should be moving on. If the fear of recurrence starts to overwhelm  perhaps a Moving On course suggested by Breast Cancer Now might help. I have considered this but so far I have resisted and tried to distract myself and take comfort in the advice of the oncologist that there are always further treatments if the worst should happen.

Wishing you all the best. You are certainly not alone!