Hello Oscarina and welcome to Cancer Chat.

I'm so sorry to read what has happened. Life can be very cruel at times and you have been extremely unlucky with the hand you have been dealt, so you have every right to feel angry and bitter about this.

Hopefully some of our members will be along soon to offer you their support and advice, but if you would like to talk any of this through with one of our cancer nurses, they're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They are very easy to talk to and will do all that they can to help you at this incredibly difficult time.

We are thinking of you Oscarina and wishing you all the best for next week.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

I don't enjoy Australian politics much. I think there's a huge gap in compassion in a lot of countries where it comes to illness, disability and immigration. I'm sorry it's affected you so terribly in this time where you really needed support. I don't buy that spouses should be treated so. I don't have cancer but my partner says he copes with his with a healthy bit of denial and a strong routine. The mind doesn't hold it in the forefront all the time but it peaks at scan times and during appointments. New symptoms and treatment side effects don't help. It's not easy. It's ***-ing *** tbh and I'm not the one with the diagnosis.

Thank you so very much for your understanding and empathy. Like your partner, I think denial will be the way forward for me ultimately but I’m too much in the thick of it right now and with uncertainty around work and Christmas plans and scanxiety all bearing down on me. I appreciate your support re Aussie politics and nanny state rules but coming from lawless UK, I am beginning to drink the Koolaid! Yes, it’s irritating sometimes but it’s also safe, peaceful and functioning and my heart breaks that for the sake of a few weeks, I have missed my chance to be a full time resident and contributor to the country and culture I adore. All I want is to use my Fly Buys card and have a Bunnings sausage sizzle - lol!! 

I wish you and your partner a healthy, drama-free life with the odd pleasant surprise for as long as possible xx

Thank you. I have sought 1:1 counselling today but I may also take up the offer to call your nurses. Not for myself as I feel that anger and bitterness are the only rational emotions in this situation but for my family - they deserve for me to better company!

Thank you. Wishing you the same.

My partner spent time in Australia and almost emigrated to New Zealand but it didn't go as he wanted which was good because otherwise we wouldn't have met and had two lovely children.