Is anyone else ANGRY?

Hi, I had just moved to Australia with my Aussie husband and dog. We uprooted our entire lives in August. Due to the fact I already had Crohn’s disease, my visa got delayed (being married to an Aussie is no advantage) so I had no health cover when I found a lump. We paid out of pocket for the ultrasound and biopsy etc but upon diagnosis,  knew I had to be treated in UK. I had to leave my dream home, our beloved dog who’d already been through a long flight plus quarantine, the family we’d moved to be near, my new job… EVERYTHING… My husband was able to stay with me for 6 weeks but he’s had to go home now so I am back at my parents and very grateful to have their support… but OMG, how *** is this?????? I’m sad, yes, but overwhelmingly, I can’t get past the anger and bitterness and I just do not know how or when this could change. My life is 100% RUINED! I will never get a visa for Australia now as they don’t want “an undue burden on the Australian tax payer” (fair enough) and I am just praying that the cancer hasn’t spread (will find out next week) so I can at least have treatment. But what is life, just living between scans, praying it hasn’t come back, knowing it probably will? How can anyone ever be happy after a cancer diagnosis? 

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  • I don't enjoy Australian politics much. I think there's a huge gap in compassion in a lot of countries where it comes to illness, disability and immigration. I'm sorry it's affected you so terribly in this time where you really needed support. I don't buy that spouses should be treated so. I don't have cancer but my partner says he copes with his with a healthy bit of denial and a strong routine. The mind doesn't hold it in the forefront all the time but it peaks at scan times and during appointments. New symptoms and treatment side effects don't help. It's not easy. It's ***-ing *** tbh and I'm not the one with the diagnosis.

  • Thank you so very much for your understanding and empathy. Like your partner, I think denial will be the way forward for me ultimately but I’m too much in the thick of it right now and with uncertainty around work and Christmas plans and scanxiety all bearing down on me. I appreciate your support re Aussie politics and nanny state rules but coming from lawless UK, I am beginning to drink the Koolaid! Yes, it’s irritating sometimes but it’s also safe, peaceful and functioning and my heart breaks that for the sake of a few weeks, I have missed my chance to be a full time resident and contributor to the country and culture I adore. All I want is to use my Fly Buys card and have a Bunnings sausage sizzle - lol!! 

    I wish you and your partner a healthy, drama-free life with the odd pleasant surprise for as long as possible xx

  • Thank you. Wishing you the same.

    My partner spent time in Australia and almost emigrated to New Zealand but it didn't go as he wanted which was good because otherwise we wouldn't have met and had two lovely children.

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