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Started as breast cancer

BELLA22
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Hi im 53 from Lancaster on 13aug i was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 mnths to the day after my sister.I went through with full mastectomy of the left along with 6 lymph nodes 5 cancerous.So i wanted the rest out went for pre opp wound healing ok had ct scan called in i knew the cancer wasnt gone i was right secondary bone cancer non treatable WTF why me i went through so much now on chemo meds which im so bloody tired hospital app im wondering if its worth it would i rather have 6mnths of being me or yrs like this im struggling sorry cant find glasses but rubbish at punctuation. 

  • Hello Bella22

    I'm so sorry to hear that you've recently been told that your breast cancer is now incurable. I can understand how incredibly difficult this will have been to hear and it's understandable that you're having difficulty processing this news. 

    I can see that you've been chatting with other community members who are living with an incurable diagnosis and I hope that you will find the support that you need. 

    Do you have access to a cancer specialist, nurse Bella22? I'd really encourage you to talk with them and see what support is available in your local area. Let them know about how you're struggling with the side effects of the treatment as well. I know that many people here will agree that being able to talk with someone in a safe space to explore your diagnosis and how you're feeling can be helpful in finding a way forward. If there is a Maggie's centre in your area, then you may want to drop in for a visit. 

    Alternatively, if you'd like to talk with one of our nurses, you can call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday through Friday, 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information, or support they can. 

    Keep in touch Bella if it helps to have somewhere to put down in writing how you're feeling. We're here for you and will do what we can to support you. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Thank you for your support i to be honest am bloody sick of talking about it im hoping this mood that seems to have taken over is a side effect and i have so many appointments scans i just want to say "Forget it "and run away and it seems that so many people tell you they can understand how you feel but with respect no you bloody dont and i would never want anyone to live with this i know people see alot working for many years with terminal cancer but again you dont know.its great that people have somewhere to go to talk it out but im sleeping 12 hrs i feel like im giving up and i dont want to i did say i didnt want to know the time scale if treatment didnt work because i would be waiting but my feelings are all over the place this isnt me i cant help but wonder if i would rather have 6mnths of normality or yrs of this?? i dont mean to sound negative but im honest again im hoping its the meds and i can move past this but right now im struggling.

  • in reply to BELLA22

    Hello Bella22

    The way you're feeling at the moment could very well be impacted by the treatment that you're undergoing. It's also likely that the mental and emotional stress of the past few months is now impacting the way you're feeling physically as well. 

    I can empathise when you say that you're sick of talking about things. I don't know if you have a good friend or family member who may be able to help you regain a little sense of normality, even if just for a few hours by arranging to do something that the two of you would have done prior to all of this. Sometimes it's easy to lose our sense of self when we're undergoing treatment. A few hours of "the old normality" can sometimes help and it may be something that you want to consider. 

    You're desire to "forget it and run away" isn't unusual. Hopefully, things will settle and improve over the coming weeks. You have been through a lot in the past 2.5 months and it's bound to take a toll on you. If you feel that things aren't improving I'd really encourage you to talk with your Consultant or nurse as there may be adjustments to medication or things they can offer that will help. 

    Keep in touch Bella22. I do hope that things improve for you soon. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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