Hi all. I can relate to you all with the feelings of anxiety, I found a lump on 15th August and was sent by my GP for an urgent appointment to the breast care centre within days where I had an ultrasound, mammogram and biopsies and was told on that day that I either had something called fibrocystic disease or breast cancer. I've since been told that it is cancer and I have an appointment with a consultant on Wednesday but it seems like my entire life has come crashing to a halt. Surreal describes it perfectly, I haven't left the house, I rarely get dressed, I keep my curtains closed during the day, I ignore the doorbell and most phone calls, my normally spotless home has turned into a pig sty, I just can't seem to get out of this slump and I've completely withdrawn from the world, the thought of having to go out causes quite severe panic attacks. My daughter bought me a ring that has little silver circles wrapped around the front that you can spin and that's the only thing that I've found that helps to calm my breathing and stop my heart jumping out of my chest, it's quite soothing, very simple but effective. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say where it came from but it rhymes with glamazon and it was extremely cheap. I've had so many lumps over the years, all of them fibroadenomas, harmless tumours, until now and I really thought it was just going to be another one of those and I've been in a state of shock ever since I found out it isn't. In the past I've had to wait a while for appointments but this seemed different from the moment my GP felt the lump, everything was rushed but I still didn't want to believe it could be cancer. I wish all of you the very best of luck with everything and would really like to hear how you're all getting on, hopefully healthy and well. My thoughts are with you all.
So much to deal with. I am sending strength and hope you find tommorow is reassuring although can only imagine this will also feel extremely daunting. A route to recovery xxxx Stay strong and do whatever helps at this time.
Thank you, I'm totally terrified but it is what it is. So glad I found this site, you guys rock. It's 6pm and I'm off to bed upstairs ... reading helps me to disassociate with my scary thoughts.
Must remember the mantra ... if I have cancer I will beat it ! X
