Scared

Hi I just need to write all this down. I was diagnosed with anal cancer T2 one lymph node possibly two on 23rd July, it had taken since February for the diagnosis and I had probably had it for a year prior as I didn't go to the doctor. They have told me it's curable which I have to go with and I start treatment on the 30th September. Chemo at the beginning then radio for 5.5 weeks then repeat chemo, i can only have 50% chemo as my dpd levels are low. The scans also showed I have an adrenal gland tumour which at the moment they are saying is probably benign but having to have more tests, they also found an issue with my shoulder which again they have said they think will be fine but more scans required. I am petrified of the treatment and the side effects even the ones they told me I won't get which makes no sense. I feel very alone, everyone around me thinks I'm handling it all well which most of the time I think I am but I do put on a front. 

  • First foremost you are not alone we are all scared on our journeys with cancer. Anybody who say's they are not are lying to themselves ,as well as everybody else. Some of us hide it well other's are more lucky and are brave enough to show thier feelings. First get support either from friends/ family or Mc Millan nurse all hospital's have them . I found out the hard way at my lowest ebb. You need someone to support you because you can feel shut out of the discussions or not told or understand all the jargon plus the waiting is the worst. Think in one way that is worse than having cancer. Remember the treatments side effects will never be as bad you imagine. Don't worry about being a wreck or have a fear of being seen as a baby or crying out loud we all do it. The other patients know how you feel and the quite calm ones are the ones wishing they could be more like you and let it go. Just remember we are all here for you. xx

  • Hi Dolly54

    Thank you. I've just read through your posts and I hope everything works out for. X

  • Thanks sweetheart rooting for you too. 

  • Good luck with your journey. Your feelings and putting on a front are natural which most folks do. Look for positives all the time if you can and celebrate any successes. You WILL manage. 

  • Hi Chemicalcolin

    Thank you. I see your first treatment went well and hope it continues that way for you. X