Hi Don't apologise for rambling, ramble away it's good to get it out. I can only go from my own experience and everything you have said sounds how I felt/feel even had anxiety attack going to the hairdressers ( must be something about them ).From my own experience its the waiting and not knowing is the worst. I find keeping busy and exercise keeps my head in as good a place as it can be at the moment. You will cope cause you have to, lean on family and friends or come on here or some of the other forums. There are also charity's that offer support in person. Xx

Thank you. I went to work as normal which was the best thing for me. I normally go to the gym 4 times a week so even though I don’t feel like going I will force myself.
I hope all is well with you and thanks again for your reply xx 

I had a big tumor- 7cm by 5cm- also a big shock so know how it feels. However that was 9 years ago. I had an operation - right hemicolectomy,  no chemo and recovered very well. 

I've had cancer again recently - uterus , had a hysterectomy and again no chemo and recovered well again.

Cancer is a bit scary but you'll get thru.

Im struggling massively with anxiety and this overwhelming fear 

Had my PET acan yesterday as i have a suspicious lesion on my lung and swollen lymph nodes 

Petrified of the results and keep crying 

Back to work on Thursday as a nurse to try to be more normal 

Its good to know we are not all in this alone 

Lets all try to stay strong  

I think I'm a bit unusual / weird. I wasn't frightened or particularly anxious - my generation don't do anxiety lol. I was like - OK this isn't good but I'm going to survive and live but should I die I guess that's OK too.

I know my attitude prob not the norm but cancer twice and still here.

I hope everything is alright for you. 
My first day back today and it was a good idea to go, draining…yes but I know my job inside out so it was good to have that bit of control and normality. I hope you feel the same on Thursday too. Xx

I dont think thats weird at all! 

I think thats a great attitude to have! 

Im changing as a person already and for the better 

I think there are silver linings! 

Thanks paranormal girl. There are definitely silver linings if you look for them. I'm a committed atheist with an interest I the paramormal too 

So.. ring them and /or tell them when you can accept calls. Know you want to know ASAP but better not to have a call when you don't have the right environment to process what they say.