Morning Rhubarbdragon, I am so sorry to hear about your partner, my situation is different to yours as I am the one with terminal cancer, over 2 years now and like you have had to put up with the, "mean well comments" all that time, my family and best friends are wonderful as they know and understand me and it was easy to get past the unhelpful or insensitive comments, I do understand it's difficult for others to relate to you and your condition, and in the beginning I did explain to some how their comments were not only unhelpful but could be a little hurtful or insensitive, many took this the wrong way so now I just switch off, either ignore what they say, immediately change the subject, or give a quick short response, I'm fine, ok or still here, and walk away, my best wishes to you both. lot's of hugs

Eddie xx

Good morning Eddie 

Thank you for taking time to share your experience with me/community. Really appreciate it .

I guess its still early days for my partner/ us and hearing you are still here at two years is heartening. I know its my own lets be realistic attitude that clashes with well meaning folks ....so I do try the techniques you shared. Sometimes I just smile and say thank you when its a kind person who I know does t understand the seriousness or it would be too upsetting for them to hear at time. 

 I guess I just needed to go argh!

So thank you for responding .

I hope you have a good day Eddie

Kindest regards

Rhubarbdragon

No, it's not helpful. People don't know what to say sometimes. They think / hope they are being helpful but it isn't always helpful.

I am sorry for your partner's loss of future and feel sad for your partner and for you. Keep your chin up.

You are welcome Rhubarbdragon, I developed a thick skin which isn't easy with my treatment as it sends your emotions and empathy levels through the roof, but like you I believe they mean well with their comments, so I am able to cope with just about any remark and immediately forget them, though it's not so easy when the insensitive remarks are aimed at my daughter who also has a terminal prognosis.

Eddie xx

Hello Eddie 

Thank you for replying and apologies for taking some time to respond. 

I am sorry to hear your daughter also has a terminal prognosis as a parent myself I can only begin to imagine how devastating that must be.

I have no words except here to listen and send hugs to you both.

I think we can tolerate over simplified platitudes for ourselves but parental instinct kicks in ( no matter the age of our child) and we become protective and things hurt more.

You are very kind to take time to share and support myself and others I really appreciate you. and you have helped me. Thank you.

Kindest wishes to yourself and your daughter Rhubarb Dragon xx 

Hello Mary 

Thank you for taking time to reply and offer support. Just realising Im not alone in these things is helpful.

Thank you too for acknowledging that loss of future is a thing 

I think it just brings into focus something we all know and choose to ignore....hence why other people find it hard to talk about 

 And revert to kind words that are not helpful sort!

Hey ho 

I am grateful for the time we have and try to make best of every day 

Keep being your kind caring self Mary i appreciate you