Anxious...

Hi all, 

I found my way here after trawling the Internet for the past week (I know I should avoid doing this but I can't seem to stop myself!)

I'm 46 and have an appointment at the breast clinic on Wednesday and I'm pretty anxious...I discovered a lump a couple of weeks ago, it's not sore or anything but it's causing a 'dent'. My GP says it is tethered and I should expect a biopsy. I lost my mother to breast cancer when I was 8 (she was only 38) and I don't know if this has triggered off additional anxiety but I can't seem to settle at all. It's quite out of character for me as I'm typically quite pragmatic. I feel like I have basically convinced myself it's going to be bad news and then I feel like such a twit as statistically I know more lumps are benign than bad. I just feel like it's ticking so many bad boxes and the impatience for the appointment is driving me up the wall. I am sorry to come here to rant but I think I am annoying my family by excessively worrying :( I just can't switch my brain off at all. I've had a lump before which was a cyst but I wasn't particularly worried about that, this lump just feels very different. Has anyone got any tips on how to give my head a wobble?? 

  • Hi. I can definitely sympathise what you’re feeling.  I saw the dr on Friday as I’d noticed a lump in my right breast. She was very thorough on her examination and wasn’t overly worried about the lump I’d felt but found another lump in the same breast further down.  She checked my armpits and said she couldn’t feel that my lymph nodes were swollen. She’s referred me and I should hear by Tuesday about an appointment in the 2WW.  I’m usually a positive person but my god I’ve turned into a nightmare. I’ve completely worked myself up that it’s going to be bad news and I’ve suddenly developed aches and pains in my arms and legs (not sure if this is just in my head) I feel like I want to freeze time and not have to face anything I don’t want to hear.  It’s the unknown and like you I’m trying hard not to think the worst! 

  • Bless you, I know what you mean about the aches and pains too! I've had nightmare back pain and can't help thinking it's related even though my rational side is telling me it won't be :/ I hope you get an appointment soon, I got mine within a week so they do try to get you in quickly. My GP also said my armpits were clear so that's a good sign. I feel so guilty for being this stressed too, a colleague at work recently had a diagnosis and is just carrying on with things and there's me being a neurotic mess without even knowing if it's anything to worry about.  I guess there's no right or wrong way to feel and we all react differently but I will be so glad when Wednesday is here. Feel free to drop me a line anytime, and like I say, I hope you get your appointment through soon :)

  • Offline in reply to SharLou

    Hi. Thank you it’s so good that I don’t feel like I’m going mad!! How did you get on?   I have called the clinic 3 times this week and have been told that I will probably be waiting up to 4 weeks for an appointment following my referral.  I definitely feel like I’m losing the plot and the wait is driving me insane!  X

  • Offline in reply to Coggs

    Oh no why so long a wait? I thought people have to be seen within two weeks? I know there can be backlogs etc but you poor thing, waiting is the worst.

    I had my appointment on Wednesday and had some biopsies taken, but the radiographer and surgeon both said they're pretty sure we're dealing with cancer, so I'm just waiting for the confirmation results and next steps. Bizarrely I initially felt a bit better because it was like knowing is better than not knowing, but I feel a bit flat today. I suppose it's to be expected that emotions will be up and down. 

    I really hope you get your appointment soon, let me know how you get on, fingers crossed xx

  • Offline in reply to SharLou

    I’m sorry to hear about your results. I’m not surprised your feeling flat today. I imagine it’s a lot to take in and get your head around.  I totally agree with you about knowing it’s definitely the not knowing that you feel out of control and frozen in time.   In our area we have a big back log of appointments and they’ve started putting on weekend clinics. When I called yesterday she said that they were booking appointments for referrals made on the 8th April, mine was made on the 19th.  We’re due to go to New York 4 weeks today to start my celebrations for my 50th this year. I just can’t get excited and can’t seem to get in a positive mindset.    I hope you get the results of your biopsy’s soon. Let me know how you get on. I’ll let you know when I hear about an appointment!  Take care and be kind to yourself x

  • Offline in reply to SharLou

    I’ve finally had my appointment date through. The 16th May. 4 weeks from when I’ve been referred. How are you doing? Xx

  • Offline in reply to Coggs

    Oh you poor thing, the waiting is literally the worst. Have you asked to be put on the cancellation list? How are you feeling?

    I'm doing OK I think, my case is being discussed at MDT on 7th so I should have an idea of what the plan is by the end of next week. More waiting! I know the clinics are so busy but the uncertainty really isn't easy to deal with xx

  • Offline in reply to Coggs

    Hey Coggs, how did you get on? Xx