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Struggling

Teamwork
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Hi,

 just found this and I hope it’s as good as it seems. 

My wife has stage four breast cancer with secondary bone cancer. We are five years in and to be fair have done ok with the support of a wonderful breast care nurse called Jenny. My wife’s biggest enemy is her mental health. Trying to keep her positive is challenging especially when she says things like I can’t do this anymore and I’ve let you all down. 
it takes every effort to get her positive again  she’s having counselling but that’s a slow process as I’m sure many here would agree  

she can’t stand silence, even at night so the TV stays on all night which I get as she struggles sleeping as well. But then I’m shattered as she also has panic attacks through the night sitting bolt upright. Again it takes time and effort to calm her. I’ve never considered myself to have put mental health but…

so why wait five years to say hi to everyone. Some might say it’s selfish but today I got a text from my doctor saying my blood test for prostate cancer has come back showing abnormalities. It’s rocked me as I need to be fit and well to care for my wife and family. I know it’s probably nothing, I’ve tried having a word with myself but I’m sat here typing this!


It helps just talking about it even if it is in the written word, so that’s us  thanks for listening/reading and here’s to everyone going through anything similar  - teamwork!

  • Hello teamwork

    I'm sorry to hear about all that you and your wife have been through over the past few years and that now you are facing your own health concerns. Undoubtedly it's been a difficult time for you both and I'm glad that you've reached out for some support. 

    It's good to hear that your wife is receiving some counselling support. It can be a slow process but hopefully with this help her mental health will improve over the coming weeks and months. Don't be afraid to encourage her to seek help from the GP as well. 

    I'm going to tag in another chap here in the community who supported his wife through treatment for breast cancer, albeit she was diagnosed at a different stage.  has kindly shared his story with many others here at Cancer Chat and hopefully, the two of you will have some mutual understanding about the worries that come with caring for a loved one. 

    It's understandable that you're feeling worried about the abnormal prostate test result. Try and keep in mind that PSA is not always an accurate test for prostate cancer as there are numerous other issues that can give an elevated reading. However, I will also tag   one of the community members who has experience with prostate cancer. Hopefully, he will pop along to say Hello and share his experiences and advice with you. 

    I also want to let you know that here at Cancer Research UK we have a team of nurses that you can call to talk to if you feel that it would be helpful at any point. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information, and support they can. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Keep in touch Teamwork and let us know how you're doing. We're here to listen and will offer any help and support we can. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Online

    Hello Teamwork and welcome to the forum, I am so sorry that your wife has breast cancer and is struggling emotionally, I hope counselling helps her through those difficult times we all have, PS my cancer, "prostate", is not curable, and my counselling which did take a few sessions has helped me so much, and hopefully your wife will benefit too. As for your blood test showing abnormalities there are other causes, prostatitis. enlarged prostate or a UTI all just as likely as cancer and as your doctor has not talked about any follow up tests, it would suggest no urgency, If cancer was suspected  you would have a urology appointment. Should? it be prostate cancer, please ignore my diagnosis my PCa is a very rare and aggressive type and variant, as they are saying abnormalities would suggest it's been caught early. so may not need treating and be put on active surveillance, I know you are worried about keeping fit, and hormone therapy for PCa causes fatigue in most guys, but you can lessen it's impact by being as fit as you can before HT starts, I should say many guys carry on working through treatment, and finally 98% of men who get PCa do not die of it. My best wishes to you and your wife, take care. Eddie

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Hi Jenn

     thanks for your welcome and response, it’s a great help just having an outlet and knowing there are others out there going through the same, ive already chatted with a couple of folk on here and that in itself is helpful. Thanks for the links as well, they are much appreciated. 

  • Offline in reply to eddiel

    Hi eddiel 

    thanks for the welcome and reaching out. Pleased to hear counselling helped you, I’m sure it will help my wife as she has more sessions. 
    since my original post I’ve been referred to the hospital and told to expect an appointment within two weeks. I do understand that the blood tests are shall we say iffy but I’ve had various other longer term signs hence the worry but let’s wait and see. 
    thanks again. 

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