I was diagnosed with breast cancer in September 2023, I'm 54 and live in Scotland 

I had two lumpectomies and two lymph node removed. I've been on letrozole since I was diagnosed.

Initially I was told I'd only need radiotherapy but due to cancer cells being found in one lymph node, chemotherapy is now advised.

I'd struggled with the knowledge chemotherapy was now a treatment option when I got the results of my last lumpectomy. Initially didn't want it but my surgery consultant convinced me to keep the appointment with the oncologist and listen to what they had to say. In the time since my results, (january) I decided that chemotherapy was something I was willing to go through.

My only other experience with a consultant was my breast surgery consultant and she was lovely, caring and sympathetic so I assumed the same of my oncologist how wrong was I

Saw the oncologist for the first time yesterday, awful experience, cold, impassive woman who instead of convincing me that chemotherapy is the way to go, managed to convince me that I didn't want it after all. Luckily the nurse who sat in on the appointment spoke to me afterwards and was able to explain in a few minutes what the oncologist wasn't able to do in the entire time of my appointment. 

I'm terrified of losing my hair, vain I know but my hair is what is attractive about me and I struggle with how I look anyway let alone without any hair.

I've been buying wigs over the past 4mths and other things for my chemo journey. 

I'm getting a call next week from the nurse to let them know my decision.... obviously I'm going with the chemotherapy. I'm just going to have to cope with what ever happens. 

I've to make an appointment with my dentist for a bone scan and will have to have a CT scan prior to starting chemotherapy to make sure the cancer hasn't spread, if it has the treatment will be life extending as no cure for secondary breast cancer.

Of course I'm terrified that it's spread, especially due to the length of time I've waited for appointments and results 

But on the plus side, if the CT scan is fine the worry it's spread will be one less worry.