Hello Seani, 

You sound indeed like a lovely, empathic and compassionate forum and we warmly welcome you to our community. Well done for taking the brave step to come here, read the discussions and post your own story. The important thing is that you have found us now and we are here for you to offer support and share similar experiences.  I am glad that reading other stories here has brought you a little comfort and I wanted you to know that you are not alone and others will I hope come and say hello and share their own journeys with you. 

I hope you won't mind but I have changed the title of your thread just so that it can be spotted more easily by others and hopefully this will mean you will receive more responses from people who are or have been in a similar place. You mentioned that you are struggling with anxiety and depression - this is also familiar territory to so many of our members and if you wanted to seek help for this, I would suggest you give your GP a call as you shouldn't suffer alone and there is help available to help you feel a bit better. 

How has your wife been since her breast diagnosis if you don't mind me asking? I hope that she has been coping ok with the treatment and if you or your wife ever needed any advice from our cancer nurses, they have a free helpline you can ring on 0808 800 4040 - you can call them Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

Best wishes and I hope that you will enjoy using our friendly forum, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Lucie and thank you for your kind words. 
I have no problem with you changing the title and appreciate it. 

When in the past I’ve heard from someone that their loved one has the cancer, I thought “that’s terrible” but it was words, just words, someone was in pain, mentally and physically, but it was just words coming from their mouth. 
Ever since the day we were told my wife had cancer I fully understand just how terrible life had become for someone telling me that their loved one was ill. 
Living with the cancer, is almost impossible to put into words. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions. 
My wife had the chemo and then the operation. Losing her hair and nails etc etc, whilst I began to think am I losing my mind? 
She also had a week of radiotherapy and last week was the last dose of the second load of chemotherapy 

She had suffered from fatigue and back pain amongst other symptoms, , but despite all of this she has still managed to go to work for several hours a day. She feels it has helped, especially with “chemo brain” 

Again, Lucie, thank you for your words and your support. 
Take care ️

Hi Seani, sorry to hear that your wife was diagnosed with cancer, it's such an awful thing for both of you to have gone through. Your wife did amazingly to go through so much and still manage to go to work. I am just beginning my journey, starting chemo next Monday. Will then need surgery and radiotherapy, followed by 5-10years of hormone blockers. I'm lucky, as like your wife I have a very supportive and caring husband. I think people sometimes forget that it affects partners as much as the person going through the illness. I wish you and your wife well moving forward.

Hi Pippin, thanks for leaving your kind message. I do hope you are feeling okay today. You’re right about my wife, it’s true, she’s pretty amazing. 
But here’s a thought……so are you Pippin. 
I’ve written Pip on my calendar for next Monday and I wish you and your husband and your loved ones all the very best on your journey. 
I feel that knowing that there are people out there that are going through a difficult journey of their own whilst thinking about others in the same way is a comforting feeling. 
You made a good point about the partner who is going through this journey with their loved one. It has, and still does, happen to me. Not many people ask “How are you coping with all of this?” It’s a question I have asked myself. If I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure. 

Imagine putting the names of people you’ve never met on a calendar who are having treatment. I don’t think it would be long before it was filled to the point of overflowing. But, as I mentioned, knowing that other people are thinking about you is a good thing 

Take care Pippin and stay strong. 

Please feel free to leave me a message at anytime 

Thank you so much for your response, it really feels less of a lonely journey, when sharing other people's experiences. I know my children (all grown up now) have asked if my husband is doing ok. I find this site really helpful, I have found everyone so kind and supportive. Off to the Wig shop now!!

Good luck with finding a wig Pippin. My wife got one but didn’t wear it that often. I tell her I love her and she looks beautiful every day. 

Thank you, I did find one that I'm really pleased with. Only planning to wear it when I'm going out. Your wife's is lucky to have such a supportive, caring husband, just like my hubby. I hope you get to make a connection with other partners, to help with your anxiety and depression.

You sound like a great person Seani,like your wife I had bilateral breastcancer in July 22,mastectomies in the September followed by chemotherapy til March last year .

I was lucky to feel pretty well through out ,carried on being busy too. We were lambing in the March ! 
I didn’t bother with a wig and wore nice hats . The hair is back now and I have had reconstructive surgery too . Feel back to normal and crack on with life .My husband is very quiet ,was pretty supportive but never wanted to talk much about what was going on . It’s good you have found us , My adult children were great and all my friends brilliant too . If you have a Maggies Centre near you ,call in , they are very supportive to family members too . 
All the best now and keep in touch ,best wishes to your wife xxx

Hi there rumplestilskin and thank you for getting in touch. I hope you are feeling good today. Sounds like we have something in common here. Cracking on with life and just getting on with it. Some days are good and others not. Bit like people really. 
My wife’s hair came back, not as it was before but it’s still looks good on her. She too wore hats. Our two favourite ones are the bright orange and a bright yellow one, knitted ones with big smiley faces. Looking back, I often chuckle when I think of the number of people that remarked about her hats, especially the ones that were not half our age. After the surgery which, as well you know, left her looking and feeling very different, she toyed with the idea of having reconstructive surgery and tattoos, and that was as far as it went. Tonight is the last time I have to flush her PICC line and she’s having it removed in a week or so. Yippee! I do believe this calls for a beer or two 

All the very best to you and yours and stay happy! X 

Definitely beer time ! My hair came back curly and I had many compliments as well , my favourite hats were a purple and a red velvet .

I felt happy being flat ,but during the summer months I changed my mind . You never know ,your wife might change her mind in time too. 
Stay happy and enjoy life now xx