Hi Simon,

I know how anxious you will be but please take a breath and try & slow down your thoughts for a moment. 

Just because the GP thought it was one thing and now the dermatologist showed some concern does not 100% mean it is melanoma or, if it is, that you are staring death in the face.

When the dermatologist said it may be just a funny mole she means it could be dysplastic (precancerous). 75% of patients that are referred to a dermatologist are found to have benign or dysplastic moles, so the odds yours is one of these 'ugly ducklings' are high. If it is melanoma, most are found at an early stage and therefore easily treated with surgery & monitoring for a period of time. There are now drug treatments for those with a higher stage of melanoma and these treatments are showing great success, so things aren't as desperate as they were years ago. 

Whilst waiting for your results stop looking at Google and distract yourself - talk to your wife as it helps enormously to share your worries with the person closest to you. Go for long walks - fresh air & exercise will help your appetite & you will sleep better. In the words of my dermatologist when I was diagnosed, 'It's not the end of the world' - it really isn't, with the help of your hospital team. Oh, and stop prodding those lymph nodes because they don't like it & they WILL swell if they're continually prodded. Good luck and please let us know how you get on,

Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009)

Hi AngieT

You should become one of the cancer helpers /  representatives as you seem to be quite clued up on things.

I noticed on one of your replies on another post to another person about a dermatoscope being used.

I went 3 times to my GP and on the first 2 occasions they both just looked at it with the naked eye without a dermatoscope and said its nothing to worry about.

But on the third occasion the first GP I had seen said it looks like a Seborrheic Keratosis, and he still did not use a dermatoscope he took a photo of it with his phone and booked me an urgent referral.

At the hospital the dermatologist did use a dermatoscope and then said it looked concerning, and made an off the cuff remark that it could still be a funny mole, I had the biopsy that same morning.

That's why I know it is melanoma as the dermatologist looked at it with a dermatoscope so she must have been able to see it was melanoma, by using the dermatoscope than just using a naked eye.

And like I said this on my post this morning, her face seemed to say it all.

Thank you AngieT

Simon.

Thank you AngieT.

It is still on my mind all of the time, but will try my best to calm down.

Have a lovely weekend.

Thank you.

Simon.

Hi AngieT.

Very bad news today.

Superficial Melanoma 3.9mm

My head is in bits.

Doctor mentioned plastic surgeon, hospital for scans etc.

Depending on how far it has gone, it looks like I have 1 to 2 years left with my family if that.

New it would be very bad news.

Simon.

Hi Simon,

That's a huge shock for you but please don't despair. The depth of your melanoma means it's T3 (Stage 2A). At present you don't know if it's spread and that is why they will do scans. They will do more surgery, a Wide Local Excision and may do a Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy although the scans may replace that procedure. If it has spread, there are drug treatments that are showing great success and survival for Stage 3 (like myself) and Stage 4 patients has been greatly improved so no one can say how long you have left. 

For the moment you are, naturally, seeing the worst case scenario but it's far from being a forgone conclusion. You need time to take in the news and to allow the further surgery and scans before they can confirm your Stage and then treat it appropriately. This website is a great place for information about melanoma but I also suggest you look at the Melanoma UK and Melanoma Focus websites which are great for melanoma patients. Meanwhile I will send you a friend request. If you accept it I can pm some further places to check out once you've looked at the websites I've suggested. 

The main thing at the moment is to get your head around the diagnosis & not to catastrophise. Reading those websites will help to understand what's happening and will help you to know what questions to ask your consultant at your next appointment. Melanoma Focus also have a dedicated nurses helpline if you need to ask any questions.

Deep breaths and you've got this. 

Angie

Good morning Angie.

Thank you for your very informative reply.

Not much sleep last night at all.

I know the doctor at the hospital could not give much away on my life expectancy, but he did nog sound to optimistic, it does not look good to me.

I would except your friends request.

Thank you.

Simon.

They don't have any idea as to life expectancy because they don't know the big picture until they have your scans & results of the WLE. Even then, they won't know because it will depend if your stage changes which will then mean you go on drug treatment. So it's too early days to even think about life expectancy. Even advanced patients (Stage 4) aren't necessarily terminal and many that are terminal have great success with the drugs and outlive the life expectancy they've been given. If you look at any survival stats don't take them as concrete as they are 5 years out of date and don't take into account the drugs that have only been available within those years. They really are changing the landscape of melanoma treatment & survival so there is lots of hope.

Thank you Angie.

Your replies do help me try to cope with what I am going through at the moment.

At the moment I don't look forward to things or plan things for the future with my family as I can not see one.

I am not interested in bringing myself to do anything, even sat here on the sofa not had a shave, or brushed my teeth as I don't have the get up and go to even do that.

I have accepted the friends request.

What happens now I have accepted it please.

Thank you very much Angie.

Simon.

Hi Angie

I am thinking of not looking at this site for a while as I think I am just asking the same questions and probably getting people annoyed.

It's also about time I stopped looking at Google as I have just read that my 3.9mm melanoma is a stage 3 not stage 2 and can not be cured with or without it reaching the lymph nodes, my heart sank even more. 

I am so confused, upset and so so worried at the moment of the thought of dying and leaving my family not long from now.

We are going to North Wales on the 13th October for 7 days, I know i will most probably have to drive back to go to the hospital if I get a letter through.

I usually start planning things for next year's family holidays and weekends away for my wife and me, but I don't see the point in doing that now.

Thank you for all your help Angie.

Take care.

Simon x

Hi Simon,

Please see the link on this CRUK site which explains why you are Stage 2A - Stage 3 is where it's know to have spread to the nodes. Stage 2 | Melanoma skin cancer | Cancer Research UK Please don't confuse the depth of your melanoma with the staging procedure. Your melanoma at 3.9 is a T3, not a Stage 3.

I will send you a quick pm & it's good that you try detach yourself from Google for a while. Try to enjoy your holiday.

Angie

Hi AngieT.

Hope your dad is doing ok, and you are ok.

Woken up 5 times at the moment through the night.

I just wake up suddenly thinking I have cancer and I am going to die soon and leave my family.

Probably like most people I wish I could just go to sleep and everything would be ok when I woke up.

What a terrible feeling it is to think I could leave soon.

I might stay up now and put the TV on.

Take care Angie.

Simon x

So we’re both getting treated this week ! I’m 11th?  What’s IPU?  Mines on my shin so will be a huge gaping hole till after Xmas :-(. Had dressing off arm yesterday and it looks like someone had taken a bite out of it.  Stitches out on Wed too.  Never a dull moment lol

Good morning smilinglady.

I made a mistake.

My appointment with the plastic surgeon is not until 9th November.

No idea what IPU is ?

I still can't touch where I had my first biopsy, bit sill really.

I really hope everything goes well for you.

Please keep me updated.

Take care.

Simon x

Hi

 ive looked it up and IPU it’s just a place where different treatments are carried out.  
I can’t touch my wound coz it’s still an open hole after 9 weeks! Was waiting for it to heal but after Wed it’s going to be CM wider all round.  I don’t think I’ll even look at it.  I’ve got to go every day inc weekends to have it repacked till after Xmas !! Yuk!! 

Hi 

Thank you for the info.

Really really hope everything will be ok in the end for you.

I keep hearing about new treatments and it's not as much as death sentence as it used to be for a melanoma diagnosis, I am just hoping that this is all true for us all.

Thank you.

Take care 

Simon x

Where’s Angie disappeared to?  Was hoping to talk with her 

Her elderly father unfortunately had a fall, so she is looking after him at the moment.

Thanks for letting me know

Anytime.

Take care x

Well I’m back in the land of the living.  Hope you’re ok

Hi Smilinglady.

Glad you are ok.

Not doing too bad, still scared stiff though.

My SCNS got in touch on Friday and I asked a few questions.

She was a lovely lady, told me it wasn't ulserated, and I am sure she said not reached the nerves, not sure if any of those things.are good things to be honest.

Also said it had been full excised, but will still have to have a WLE and maybe lymph nodes which I knew anyway, and then take it from there, but it all depends on what the plastic surgeon consultant says on 9th November.

It's all scary stuff, and still think this is the end of me.

Enough about my problems, how are you.

Thank you.

Simon x