Hi Hayley,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

As the other replies have mentioned, this is all part of the rollercoaster, which comes with a breast cancer diagnosis. I am glad to hear that your surgery is behind you, although this must have been especially difficult when you are in a fairly new relationship. Eight weeks post-op is still early days. Can I ask what in particular you're not coping with? There are so many different issues that affect us all.

I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and eventually ended up with a double mastectomy. Unfortunately, due to previous, non-cancer related surgery, I was unable to have reconstruction. I was concerned about my appearance, recurrence, frightened of death, worried about my family - the list goes on. I had lost my mum to secondary breast cancer before I was diagnosed, so naturally, my mind went to the worst case scenario. All that was 14 years ago and I still lead a busy and fulfilling life. It has taken me some time to come to terms with my diagnosis and treatments, it certainly didn't happen overnight. I attended some of Breast Cancer Care's " Moving Forward" meetings. I also attended Maggie's and The Haven. Here I spoke to a counsellor, who helped to put everything into perspective for me. I also availed of some of their alternative treatments to help me relax. 

When the "Moving Forward" meetings stopped, a number of us who were on the course, got together and formed our own support group. We met in each other's houses and this gave us the support we needed, for as long as we wanted it. I was also prescribed Venlafaxine by my GP. This is a mild anti-depressant and I found this a great help too. 

You will eventually "Get out of the bit", but you may need to be pro-active about doing so.

Please consider some of these things and let us know what you decide to do. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hello Jolamine. What an inspiration you are to me as probably to many.  Reading your response and other replies comforts me in knowing that we are never alone in this journey.

You are absolutely right about being pro-active.  I have always been an active person, never ill, being there for others and helping in which ever way i could. I am finding it hard being at home, at first not being able to do things for myself and relying on others to help me.  Slowly but surely i am becoming more mobile.  My body still has a way to go after the surgery to feel more like mine again.  I am now waiting for a Radiotherapy appointment and have started taking Tamoxifen.  

It is a lot of change, just getting over the surgery and then stepping into another treatment, not knowing how your body, mind or soul will cope with its next journey.

I have decided to just see what happens. I know we are all different and our bodies react differently to treatments.  Like yourself i am just going share my experiences on this site and hope that it helps others.  Its always the little things that  mean a lot to me.

Thank you so much xx

Hi Hayley,

You are certainly never alone, now that you have found this site. It is hard to accept help when you have always been so independent, but i's your turn to be on the receiving end now and I would advise you to accept all the help that's offered. You have been through major surgery and it does take time to recover. I hope that you are managing ok with the Tamoxifen. There is no point in worrying how you will cope with each new journey, as it seems to be very much an individual thing - some seem to sail through this treatment, whilst many struggle. Has there been any mention of when radiotherapy will start for you - naturally you need to heal first.

I hope that you are getting the love and support from your partner, that you need to help you put this behind you in time.

I am glad to hear that you intend to share your experience with others here on this site, as it means a lot to those who are setting out on, or struggling with their journeys.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Hayley,

You are certainly never alone, now that you have found this site. It is hard to accept help when you have always been so independent, but i's your turn to be on the receiving end now and I would advise you to accept all the help that's offered. You have been through major surgery and it does take time to recover. I hope that you are managing ok with the Tamoxifen. There is no point in worrying how you will cope with each new journey, as it seems to be very much an individual thing - some seem to sail through this treatment, whilst many struggle. Has there been any mention of when radiotherapy will start for you - naturally you need to heal first.

I hope that you are getting the love and support from your partner, that you need to help you put this behind you in time.

I am glad to hear that you intend to share your experience with others here on this site, as it means a lot to those who are setting out on, or struggling with their journeys.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx