I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Our minds play all sorts of tricks and cause us to think of the worst case scenario. But the surgeons are doing this as they believe it can help you they wouldn't put you at risk of not waking up. It's normal to be afraid it occupies your waking hours but please try and relax. Read a good book, some deep breathing or chat to one of the nurses or talk to someone but don't allow those thoughts to crowd you. Breathe you've got this xx