Hi. It's so heart wrenching to read upset and I absolutely feel the pain through all the words..  My. Mum is being tested. We haven't been told results are 100 per cent cancerous.. But all symptoms seem to be putting us in this road.. I've done nothing but cry n cry until my face is sore.. I'm thinking we have to dig deep and find some strength with in us to just be there be thier support and not regret anything we do from this day..   Keep talking to friends and ur family. 

Im sorry to hear that ..i find thats the worst bit the limbo wether in your case of not knowing yet or mine ahaving the timeline and wondering which day will take them,i think thats my biggest struggle is i have no one to offload to i hadnt spoke to him in nearly 4 years then got a random message with details and told i best see him ,as soon as he opened the door i knew it was bad ,he doesnt want everyone knowing and theres only a select few of his side of the family that know all of which i dont talk too because well both sides of my family seem to be as toxic as each other ,i never thought id learn something like this and thatd itd hit me this hard but its tearing me apart 

Im sorry to hear that ..i find thats the worst bit the limbo wether in your case of not knowing yet or mine ahaving the timeline and wondering which day will take them,i think thats my biggest struggle is i have no one to offload to i hadnt spoke to him in nearly 4 years then got a random message with details and told i best see him ,as soon as he opened the door i knew it was bad ,he doesnt want everyone knowing and theres only a select few of his side of the family that know all of which i dont talk too because well both sides of my family seem to be as toxic as each other ,i never thought id learn something like this and thatd itd hit me this hard but its tearing me apart 

Do u feel bad now for the break down of yours relationship for that long and that's playing on your mind too .. It's alot to deal with and there's sometimes no bloody answers is there... 

I think you should spend time together when you can and don't think about what's gone or what's to come.. Have your dad back in your life.... 

I'm just going over to my mums to cook her tea. She's got a broken wrist too for chrust sake.. Lol..  Bubble wrapping her up I think x

I think we both could of tried harder, and i know theres probably guilt from my side,if only everything came with an instruction manual ...

Oh no bless her at least she has you to be a maid for her hope her wrist heals well x

How are u doing 

Honestly....im struggling i collapsed at work everyone around me thinks im nuts/stupid etc because why am i crying over a man who was never there for me or couldnt be assed slowly the i feel like the people around me are dwindling away  because they think i shouldnt be that bothered by it 

Don't consume yourself with over thinking what work colleges think.. Emotions can never be straight forward..  You need to make sure your taking care of your self.. Eating drinking..??    Sending hugs..