dad with terminal cancer and feeling guilty.

my dad has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer after previosuly battling bowel cancer for a year and a half. in 2022 spetember time, after having rounds of chemo and 2 major operations we thought that we had the all clear but a few weeks later we were told that my dad has termianl cancer now due to the fact it has progressed to his lungs. 

throughout this whole stage, i have bottled it up and pretended like it doesnt exist. in doing so, this causes me to have unhealthy breakdowns which occur randomly and i dont know how to cope. i dont want my dad seeing me like this as i want to be strong for him but at the same time it is hard. 

does anyone have any suggestions in how to not keep my emotions bottled up? in recently turning 18 and not really being able to talk with anyone going through a similar situation i thought id ask here. thankyou

Parents
  • Talk to someone - preferably your Dad - about how you feel. It will be hard but crying about it together will probably help you both in the long term. He will be feeling scared too - worst case, you both bottle it up and things are left unsaid which you regret for the rest of your life. 
    Please don't feel pressured into being strong for him - I know from experience that's the last thing he'd want. 
    Losing a parent is hard at any age but at your age you're unlikely to have the life experience to have developed coping mechanisms. Be kind to yourself and talk to him.
     

    Good luck

    Dave

Reply
  • Talk to someone - preferably your Dad - about how you feel. It will be hard but crying about it together will probably help you both in the long term. He will be feeling scared too - worst case, you both bottle it up and things are left unsaid which you regret for the rest of your life. 
    Please don't feel pressured into being strong for him - I know from experience that's the last thing he'd want. 
    Losing a parent is hard at any age but at your age you're unlikely to have the life experience to have developed coping mechanisms. Be kind to yourself and talk to him.
     

    Good luck

    Dave

Children
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