Dear Marie

i couldn't read you post without replying. I can relate to how you feel! It's completely heartbreaking when you see your parents upset. You will feel much better when you know the results and what they are going to do to help your Mum. Unfortunately your mind tends to run wild and takes you to lots of dark thoughts and visions as it can't process the information as you dont know at the moment what your dealing with. Stay to the light don't go too the Dark.

You mum will want to keep things as normal as possible this is why she wants you to go back too uni, she will want too protect you. You must chat to your friends and teachers and tell them what's happening and how your feel.

Are you getting help with your Anxiety and eating disorder and depression? If your not I would contact your GP amd ask for help. You can't deal with all of this on your own you must reach out to others.

Your Mums Doctors will look after her and they will do all they can, treatments these days are so advanced. 

Take each day don't look to far ahead.

Your doing so well! Life is cruel. Much love Sarah 

Hi Sarah,

Thank you so much for replying. 

Its been a few days now and things are starting to get a bit easier. I think i've trained myself to look more into the light and I think my parents have too. We are trying to just check in with each other and make sure my mum is being looked after and her stress levels are as low as we can possibly make them. 

I have an open - return ticket to university booked so I can pop back home if i ever need to. I've also told my boyfriend and my two best friends and it's been nice having them to talk to. It's also nice being with people who don't know so I can feel a little bit normal and like people aren't always checking up on me. 

I've spoken to university and I have a counselling session booked in which should allow me to talk to someone about past issues and how my mum's diagnosis is affecting me now. It should also allow me to apply for extra help during exam season and hopefully take the pressure off uni for the next couple of months. 

Things are a bit easier but every so often I get huge waves of anxiety, being back to uni where everything is always so crowded is going to be difficult but I just need to take each wave as it comes.

Once again thank you for reaching out,

Marie

Hi,

Thankyou for replying, I have been thinking about you. I'm so pleased to hear that you are getting support from your Friends and Boyfriend and that you are getting some Counselling at Uni, this will be a great help.

I am 38 and found my Dads Diagnosis really scary, Counciling really helped me, sometimes I would cry for the whole hour but that was okay.

Im pleased that thing have settled down a bit, the shock of it all really does take it's toll on everyone.

Please stay to the light! Take one day at a time and lean in your friends. 
I send you an Angel and I hope that your Mum will be okay. 
 

love Sarah