Hi, and first of all, so sorry to hear what you are going through.  I am a carer for my husband who has several very serious health issues and who is deteriorating rapidly.  I was recently told that my cancer has spread and is now stage 4.  I won't lie to you.......it's been tough.  There have been times when I have felt like running away.........just getting on a train to anywhere.  I think that my emotions (and those of my husband) have have run the whole nine yards, from anger, sorrow, rage, grief, hopelessness, fear............and then back again.  If it is any consolation to you, there comes a point (or it did for me and my husband anyway), where you accept that this is how it is, and both of us now live one day at a time.........we both have quite a macabre sense of humour and we often 'joke' abot who is going to fall off their perch first. I guess it's just the way we deal with our situation.  Things have reached a peaceful kind of serenity after all of the madness, and hopefully you will find this will happen with you and your husband.  Yes, it is going to be devastating when your husband passes, no doubt about it, but you will find the strength to get through it somehow.  I wish you well, Violet, x

Hi, and first of all, so sorry to hear what you are going through.  I am a carer for my husband who has several very serious health issues and who is deteriorating rapidly.  I was recently told that my cancer has spread and is now stage 4.  I won't lie to you.......it's been tough.  There have been times when I have felt like running away.........just getting on a train to anywhere.  I think that my emotions (and those of my husband) have have run the whole nine yards, from anger, sorrow, rage, grief, hopelessness, fear............and then back again.  If it is any consolation to you, there comes a point (or it did for me and my husband anyway), where you accept that this is how it is, and both of us now live one day at a time.........we both have quite a macabre sense of humour and we often 'joke' abot who is going to fall off their perch first. I guess it's just the way we deal with our situation.  Things have reached a peaceful kind of serenity after all of the madness, and hopefully you will find this will happen with you and your husband.  Yes, it is going to be devastating when your husband passes, no doubt about it, but you will find the strength to get through it somehow.  I wish you well, Violet, x

Thank you, I am so sorry to hear of your situation but glad that you have got to a point of serenity. My husband knows he's got it but isn't aware of the time scale he has left and I don't want him to know as he is so frightened already but I will be there for him every step of the way. I wish all the best for you both. X

Hi again.  I think that the advice that Carol (Dor06) has given you is excellent.  As well as the emotional side of caring for your husband, there are also the practicalities, which Carol has outlined.  Take care, Violet, x