Hi RossM and sending all the best.  For me and my husband, what you said there about expecting a few more trouble free years is the one.  That was the shock for us.

I'm doing what I can, when I can, himself is doing a mighty job beside me, caring for me when it has to be done, although money still has to come in from somewhere :)

Luckily I've so far got through without fear and believe me, I did wonder if I'd have a huge freak out at some point.  I think I'm blessed that so far things have gone easy on me in that regard, especially as the rest hasn't gone as well.

Nothing that's bad can't be worse.  Here's wishing you the best road for you and yours....oh... and a full recovery.

Thank you. I am right at the start, not even officaully confirmed but having seen the scans, met a MacMillan nurse, been give a cancer leaflet and having a PET scan booked, it would be a miracle if it wasn't th Big C.

No idea how bad it is. Looked like about 20% of top right lung. No idea if I can recover or, if not, how long I'll last.

Oddly the biggest blow was thinking of my wife being alone in our house after this. I hate to think of that. The rest of the family and friends have their own housholds but she's the one who will be left on her own. 

It's like Deadpool says in the film  "The worst part about cancer isn’t what it does to you. But what it does to the people you love."

At the moment she is waiting for the PET scan so she will know everything will be ok. I'm saying nothing as the longer I can avoid telling her the better. She'll be devasted.

I'm just holding it together as much as I can and pretending I'm tired if she sees me with watery eyes...

Hey, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I had a really difficult diagnosis myself. Although I won't give advice, I can tell you about my own experiences with cancer. And I understand how it must be terrible for you right now.

At 44, after my diagnosis of breast cancer (moderately aggressive) throughout both of my lungs and liver, I really didn't expect to reach fifty, let alone see any grandchildren. But, hey, now, at 55 with six grandchildren and counting, the treatments have kept my cancer stable. The mental journey has been  difficult to negotiate for us all, especially my children who were all still at school. But I turned my focus firmly towards staying alive as long as possible, staying as fit and healthy as possible in order to be able to accept treatment.

From my experience, what people don't always see is the time after a difficult diagnosis that they may live well for.  Back in 2011 I found my own thoughts going towards the "death" scenario almost constantly. It was like having a nasty grey dinosaur on my shoulder which kept leaping out and reminding me of the awful stuff that could happen. Truly my imagination was extremely destructive (it still is sometimes).

Let's hope that it is all a false alarm for you. I shall keep everything crossed for you and your wife that it is.

Please try to focus on staying as healthy as you can. And I found it not always helpful to compare myself to others (as everyone's experience is different), or look too much up on the internet - there is quite a lot of rubbish out there....

Focus on the things that you feel will help you and take heart that treatments are improving constantly.

All best wishes to you and your wife from here,

Mary

Hi Ross

Just wanted to reach out as it's horrible to find yourself here. I want to wish you all the luck in the world though. I truly hope it is not what you think. And if it is, you will be supported massively. There are many off label drugs that can help alongside standard care. It isn't something massively well known though. 

Positive vibes to you. 

Vicki 

Thanks All,

I'm a little bit better. I think I'm getting over the shock a little bit.

So many unknowns and questions and I've been doing a lot of (covert) online reading about it. The stages, who is grows, treatments etc. Of course, without an actual diagnosis I don't know if I have 10 week or 10 years. 

For now i'm going to try to ignore it as much as I can until i know but it certainly puts a new focus on my long term plans and how I may be unable to fulfill them.

I went out last night with my wife for a few (quite a few) drinks. We were talking about our distant pasts. For about 8 years in her 20s, she stayed single and said she was fine doing that. It gave me a bit of hope that, as she is mentally very strong, she will ok if/when I am not here.

Anyway, I'm off to do saturday things now and will update you all in a couple of weeks when I should know more. 

Thanks for your messages everyone, you're the only people I have told about this.

Ross

Dear RossM,

I've literally just joined this forum today, having been recently diagnosed with grade 3 breast cancer. I've already had my surgery and am awaiting the results which will determine chemo or not. So odd that the testing is done in the USA! It's the second time for me; I was 41 first time around with an eight year old daughter. I'm now 62! She's happily married and all the things I thought I'd miss I've been there to see: 21st birthday; wedding day; two grandchildren. I can't pretend that cancer doesn't take over your every waking hour, particularly at this stage for you, but what I have learned is that when things are really awful, the smallest of good things become simply wonderful. Embrace those small things. 
Wishing you well and happy. 

So, had PET scan on Thursday in Guildford and they called me this morning. They said I could come into the hospital or have a telephone appt. Given that my cough is mostly gone I am thinking (hoping) this may be just an infection and if they offered a phone call i wonder if that means it's not bad news because they wouldn't want to tell me that on the phone. 

Perhaps I am over thinking this. 24 hrs to go to find out....

Hello,

Keeping everything crossed for you that it's good news. 

So, the PET scan looks for active cells which indicate C. They showed up. I have to have a biopsy for final confirmation. I asked the doc what my chances would be if if it is C. He said there is a good chance it is curable as it only shows in one area (when it has spread it's a different matter).

I'd kept things to myself up to this point but brought my wife this time and told her I'd pretty much known but hadn't wanted to tell her or anyone. She was mad at me for doing that but was happy to be at this appt. 

So, not dead yet and may even survive C. Glass half full.....