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Mum has decided against chemotherapy

chaz7
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Hi everyone, I am new to this forum and have spent last few hours reading posts and various situations, I am terrible sorry that you have been, are still or close to someone that is fighting this. I wondered if anyone could give some help or even opinion on my mums situation please  

she has had a double lumpectomy and nodes removed, one tumour was 36mm and other 10mm, she is her2 neg and er neg too. The op went well, recovered well and got results on Wednesday that nodes and margins were both clear, such a relief! However the doctors still recommended chemotherapy (24 weeks worth) before moving to radiotherapy afterwards as it may give an extra 7% chance of long term survival IF the cancer were to come back elsewhere. My mum doesn't want to do this and has refused, she is 73 years old, just lost her sister to cancer who got a lot worse when had one round of chemo, the list of side effects were massive and scared her more than anything the thought of putting her frail self through that for six months for the possibility of 7% extra chance but not a guaranteed 7% and may not come back anyway. The nodes and margins were clear so good indication it hasn't spread? So she wants to go straight to radiotherapy which is only 9 sessions and thinks this will be enough to make her cancer free .... from what I gather yes it will but in all your experience has anyone declined chemo and went for radiotherapy and still cancer free?? 
many thanks in advance for any words of wisdom can give on any of your experiences it would be much appreciated.

Charlene 

  • Offline in reply to ElNaGu

    Hi Einagu

    thank you for your honesty, I appreciate it and it is good to know that there are others like my mum who feel the same way about treatment. I read out the messages to her earlier and she found it somewhat reassuring hearing other peoples stories and takes on everything, it is much better hearing from people that have experienced this themselves rather than just doctors advice and statistics which by all means is just guess work and a lottery like Jolamine has said. 

    My mum is standing by her decision that she just doesn't want to put her body through six months of chemo with horrendous side effects before she then does radiotherapy - I think as the margins and nodes were clear this is a good sign that the cancer was contained and the lumpectomy and radiotherapy will be enough to ensure her to be able to live the rest of her life in no pain and suffering and to the maximum as life allows at her age. Although I am still worried that not a lot of people refuse chemotherapy, I thought there would have been lots of people that wouldn't willingly put their body through so much for a slight extra chance that isn't guaranteed.

     

    I really do hope that your scan comes with positive news that nothing has changed and that you are not faced with the same decision again regarding treatment. I wish you the very best outcome going forward x

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hi Jolamine

    Yes will definitely support her no matter what she decides, I just want to make sure that she won't have any regrets down the line and she does seem certain. The chemo offered was paclitaxel (taxol) and even the lesser side effects like pins and needles was off putting to her, she does knitting and cross stitch so even this one would lessen her quality of life let alone the sickness, lowered immune system (she said she has done enough isolating lol) and the twenty other things that could come with it.

     

    I have been at all of my mums appointments with her and asked all the questions recording the doctors talking taken notes and to be honest had to reiterate things back and forth as my mum probably won't be taking it all in and when docs ask about her health she always says I'm fine ... yet she already takes about six different daily medications for thyroid blood pressure and such like but in her book fine lol  

    Thank you so much for your kind words and advice, I have read out all comments to my mum earlier tonight too and it really has helped her hearing from people that truly understand.

     

    thanks again and I hope that my mum will be like yourself and go on to live a busy and fulfilling life for many years to come.

     

    take care and please do keep in touch xx

     

     

  • Hello chaz7,

    I'm sorry to hear about your mum's sitiuation. If you would like to talk things through, you can ring our our team of cancer nurses. They will be able to answer your questions and hopefully help your mum reach a decision. You can call them on the freephone 0808 800 4040. Lines are open from Monday to Friday between 9am and 5pm.

    I hope this helps,

    Moderator Anastasia

  • Offline

    Hi Charlene, your post has really helped me. I am having to make the same decision 

    I am older than your mother, 79. I have had successful cancer surgery but they are now recommending 4 sessions of chemo followed by 12 months of immunotherapy, once every three weeks. 

    I feel perfectly fit and feel that  going through 18 months of side effects isn’t worth it.

    I really admire your mother’s decision, it is a difficult one to make but I think it has led me to be strong enough to follow her example.  

    good luck and best wishes 

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