Father in law terminal - Husbands struggling

Hello,

My father in law had a small cell lung cancer diagnosis last week and it is terminal, 5 years at most. He has just started chemotherapy. Last year he lived with us for 6 months while going through treatment for prostate cancer and was given the all clear. I feel nasty but i told my husband he cannot stay with us this time. 

My husband is ever so snappy. Hes phoning his dad everyday, but he has cancelled everything for the next year, he doesnt want to spend time with my family as he thinks theyre selfish for not asking how he is after he told me to tell them he doesnt want to talk about it. He doesnt talk to his family much as he thinks theyre useless. Hes ever so senstive right now and its straining us. 

Any suggestions how to support him please?

 

How do i support him? 

Parents
  • Hello Lollylonglegs and welcome to the Cancer Chat community.

    I'm so sorry your father in law has now received a terminal lung cancer diagnosis after being given the all clear from his prostate cancer last year.

    This must be very tough for the both of you and no doubt your husband is finding this news, understandably, very difficult to cope with. I'm sure some of our members who have been in a similar position will offer their support and advice to you soon but if you'd like to discuss this with one our cancer nurses, they're just a phone call away on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. 

    In the meantime, just try to take things one a day at a time and let your husband know you're there for him. Hopefully once he's had time to fully process what he's been told, he will start to reach out to you once more.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Reply
  • Hello Lollylonglegs and welcome to the Cancer Chat community.

    I'm so sorry your father in law has now received a terminal lung cancer diagnosis after being given the all clear from his prostate cancer last year.

    This must be very tough for the both of you and no doubt your husband is finding this news, understandably, very difficult to cope with. I'm sure some of our members who have been in a similar position will offer their support and advice to you soon but if you'd like to discuss this with one our cancer nurses, they're just a phone call away on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. 

    In the meantime, just try to take things one a day at a time and let your husband know you're there for him. Hopefully once he's had time to fully process what he's been told, he will start to reach out to you once more.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Children
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