I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Sadly, everyone's experience of the days leading up to passing away are different. 

My mum was in hospital with terminal ovarian cancer. Her last food was a tub of ice cream - she refused everything else. She fell asleep and slept for 3 days before passing away quietly in the early hours of the 4th day.

My mum-in-law had dementia and was in a care home. She had been bed bound for 4 years but still ate & drank, even though she was skin & bones and couldn't hear, see or know who we were. She stopped eating for 2 days and they warned us she may be about to pass away but then on the third day she ate her breakfast, fell asleep and passed away peacefully 30 minutes later.

My uncle was in a care home after hospital discharge (severe oedema & heart problems). He was eating & drinking but started to become bed bound over a few days due to mobility problems. He stopped eating & drinking the day before he died but he was totally conscious. He went to sleep & died peacefully in the early hours of the following morning.

So you really can't predict how long your loved one may be with you before they pass away. One thing I truly believe is that sometimes they hang on to life while they know their loved ones are with them and they pass away whilst alone to spare the loved ones upset. My maternal grandparents did this - both died in hospital after days of lingering - my mum was beside their beds 99% of the time & only left to get a drink & bite to eat on both occasions. When she returned they had passed away. My mum believed it was to spare her & I think my mum tried to spare me, my dad & my brother as she clung on to life throughout the three nights the nurses thought she would pass away. When she did die, we were sitting very quietly in her room & hadn't spoken for hours - I think she believed she was alone & chose that moment.

All you can do is treat each moment as precious time with your dad and be led by your dad's wishes. Sometimes a person will rally for a short time before they decline again and sometimes it can happen quite quickly and unexpectedly - you really can't tell. My thoughts are with you all at this sad time xx

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Sadly, everyone's experience of the days leading up to passing away are different. 

My mum was in hospital with terminal ovarian cancer. Her last food was a tub of ice cream - she refused everything else. She fell asleep and slept for 3 days before passing away quietly in the early hours of the 4th day.

My mum-in-law had dementia and was in a care home. She had been bed bound for 4 years but still ate & drank, even though she was skin & bones and couldn't hear, see or know who we were. She stopped eating for 2 days and they warned us she may be about to pass away but then on the third day she ate her breakfast, fell asleep and passed away peacefully 30 minutes later.

My uncle was in a care home after hospital discharge (severe oedema & heart problems). He was eating & drinking but started to become bed bound over a few days due to mobility problems. He stopped eating & drinking the day before he died but he was totally conscious. He went to sleep & died peacefully in the early hours of the following morning.

So you really can't predict how long your loved one may be with you before they pass away. One thing I truly believe is that sometimes they hang on to life while they know their loved ones are with them and they pass away whilst alone to spare the loved ones upset. My maternal grandparents did this - both died in hospital after days of lingering - my mum was beside their beds 99% of the time & only left to get a drink & bite to eat on both occasions. When she returned they had passed away. My mum believed it was to spare her & I think my mum tried to spare me, my dad & my brother as she clung on to life throughout the three nights the nurses thought she would pass away. When she did die, we were sitting very quietly in her room & hadn't spoken for hours - I think she believed she was alone & chose that moment.

All you can do is treat each moment as precious time with your dad and be led by your dad's wishes. Sometimes a person will rally for a short time before they decline again and sometimes it can happen quite quickly and unexpectedly - you really can't tell. My thoughts are with you all at this sad time xx

Hi Angie

I'm so sorry to hear about all of your loved ones. If the topic isn't too triggering to talk about, i wondered if you'd mind sharing some more with me regarding your mum's illness?  Please don't read on and just ignore this response if you feel it will be too hard to talk about.

My mum has terminal ovarian cancer, she was diagnosesd April 2019.  It went away with chemo but returned very quickly.  We were told she had two years, but this changed to months about 3-4 months ago when they discovered it was in her bowel and lymph nodes.  In the past week she has really started to change, she is sleeping so much, feels wiped out, in a lot of pain so prescribed morphine, changes to taste, weird sensation in her ears, nauseous, loss of appetite, constipation, says she feels confused.  

I wondered if you'd mind sharing if your mother went through this?  I know no one can give me an exact time scale, but i don't live near my mum and i feel the very sudden change in her symptoms is signalling that months have turned to weeks.  I would like to go and be with her permenately until she passes if we are looking at weeks.  I don't want to ask her if the doctors have suggested this to her either as she has tried to remain so positive about everything the whole time.  I wouldn't want to be reminding her of how limited her time here is.

Katie x